Sometimes we need the big pink eraser, not just the one on the end of a pencil

"Sometimes we have to see for ourselves.  We have to make our own mistakes.  We have to learn our own lessons.  We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug, until we can't anymore, until we finally understand ourselves......."

If I had not gone through the weight loss journey myself to lose 202 pounds, I would not believe it. It was my sweat (and sometimes tears) that made it possible for me to shed that weight.  The journey certainly wasn't without its challenges.  Happy hours masked as a good time when really a test they were to be.  I had to see for myself that it was necessary to explore life and have fun and how making the healthiest choices could be difficult.  

I reached my second and final goal in December of last year.  I reached Lifetime status in January. Since that time, I participated in my second 5K and my first half marathon, and also put on some of the pounds I worked so hard to lose.  I let the Lifetime status down.  I used the "celebratory" excuse but after last week I no longer can use that excuse.  The fear is real and so is the struggle to maintain this new lifestyle and weight loss.  Eleven pounds have gone back on.  No, that's not so much to lose, but this journey of mine has been interrupted by life.

The new Smart Points Program brought a lot of Aha moments to members.  The piece of pecan pie you might want to splurge on is now what.......21 points?  One might eat a cinnamon roll and have the shock and awe reaction after learning the point value.  Where is the big pink eraser when we need it? Wouldn't it be great if the big pink eraser could be used to erase what has been eaten?  

As much as I try to stay balanced, these tests keep coming up.  Living the single life, for example. There have been several times in the last month that I wished I had a giant pink eraser.  While on date night, I chose to have the small peanut butter shake from Sonic.  I could have easily passed it up  I ate more red meat in one night than I have in the last year.  I slowed down my walking.  After training for the marathon, I guess my body said "Whew! We did it.  Can we take a break now?"  It's been hard getting back into my routine of double digit miles.  On other date nights, I have eaten things I haven't had in a very long time.  I chose to have the peanut butter blizzard from DQ.  And tracking was the furthest thing from my mind.

Goodness I wish I had that pink eraser.  Not just with my continuing weight loss journey but with this single life.  I know I have missed several great moments because I messed them up or ignored them altogether.  I am trying to get out there and have fun.....stay out a little passed my curfew.  Part of me wants to but the dedicated, fighter me says no because 4:30 a.m. comes way too early.   So little steps I take and abandon the fighter me, the Weight Watcher me, at the door.  While out one night, I had chicken strips with french fries.  On another night I had street tacos.  The street tacos were during the week I should have been working my butt off to get this weight off.  Now I am down to this week.  I am hoping if I stay strictly on my program and walk at least 14 miles a day, I will lose at least 5 pounds.

So, while no Chex Mix or chocolate chips, no cookies have entered my house, the jelly beans have! Jelly beans!  I haven't had jelly beans in over 2 years until this week.  Ugh!!!! Pink eraser where are you?!  I am about to go walk about 6 miles this morning before Easter lunch.  I will not , DO NOT want to buy BIGGER clothes.   So my strategy is to begin from the beginning.   Play like I am starting over.  At least that's my plan.  My girlfriend who I walk with told me the other day she could tell I needed a break after reaching goal for the second time.  Burn out was where I was headed by the way I was talking.  She supported this break time of mine she said, but break time is over she said.

I know I have so many of you looking to me as an example.  An example of what hard work, dedication, determination, and loyalty can result in.  I promise to retain that title and not let you down.  For I have a dressy dress and a polka dot swimsuit to still fit into.

Y'all have a great week.....donate all that left over Easter candy somewhere!

Christina

If you have to cry, go outside other things you should know

You know, there are days, okay months too, that I am a combination of "really sweet" and "don't mess with me."

Let's chat about hormones.  Not only the kind that get you starry-eyed at the thought of romance or a night out or the kind that creates those sugar cravings at least once a month.  There is that hormone that causes hunger.  Then there is the stress hormone.  Ugh.  

I am by nature a sensitive person.  I can cry sometimes at the drop of a hat.  I go at things hard and open myself up sometimes.  I do not handle stress all that well.  

Lately I have not been honoring my Lifetime status.  Not sure what it is.  Is it because I've become complacent again with this life?  Have I let life take control?  About 8 lbs. have bone back on and I do not like that.  So it's time to get back into fight mode.  Do I have what it takes?  Absolutely! I have a couple of things coming up and HAVE to get back to goal.

Hormones and weight loss should be in the same category as oil and water.  Am I right?  So, as women, there are at least two weeks (for me anyway) out of every month that can be totally hormonal.  Hell, sometimes those pesky hormones can run rampant the entire month.  Then there is the hunger and stress hormone.

I threw out there asking you if there was something you'd like to me write about.  I know all about hormones.  As I get older, they are twisty and soooo unpredictable.  While I was in the first and second phase of my weight loss journey, I suppose I suppressed any hormones.  They weren't all that noticeable.

After I lost the bulk of the weight, my body started adjusting, including hormone level.  I realized the week Aunt Rosie was in town, I needed to not think about men or anything social.  The hormones magnified those emotions ten fold.  I had to fight back any cravings I had for sweets, croutons, or other snacky foods.

Food wasn't the only thing those dreaded hormones affected.  They drudged up emotions that could cause me to go way off track. So you're wanting to know what I did.  Well......

Early on I handled it pretty well.  I was losing just about every week so I didn't really think of them as a problem.  But as I inched closer to my goal and the weight seemed to slow down, hormonal days became too frequent and more difficult to handle.   During those weeks, I chose not to go out because any little thing (missed smile, look, or gesture from a guy) was magnified.  Which would cause me to eat those chocolate chips, croutons, etc.

So how do I handle them now? It's a learning process.  My hormones take over and I eat things shouldn't  But I stop and think how far I have come.  Gaining 8 lbs. is not much when I look at the big picture of losing 202 lbs.  I have continued and will continue to walk, sometimes double digits. That's part of my fight mode.  Activity helps with those hormonal days.

Then there's the hunger hormone. It sneaks up on you and before you know it instead of making healthy choices, you drive straight through the line at McDonald's or Chick Fil A.  I know the feeling....while my car hasn't randomly driven in the parking lot of Burger King, I go to the store and pick up things I know are bad for me.  What will it take for me to get back in fight mode?  Conquer that hunger hormone?

Right now, I have an amazing guy in my life and things are good.  He knows I am on Weight Watchers and he eats fairly healthy...... just need to handle his craving for sweets.   I fear I have become complacent and comfortable with this part of my life.  As my friend says, I have worked so very hard for this and I deserve this happiness I am experiencing.   So what if I have to be in fight mode a little while longer to get back to a place where I am happy?

Hormones.  Ugh!  As women not only do we struggle with female hormone, we deal with stress and hunger hormones.  They can be nasty little devils.  But we are strong and will not let them get to us while on this weight loss journey.

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Christina