Trying to figure it out alone doesn't help. God has already figured it out and He's asking you to trust him. In 2023, things didn't go according to my plan. It was supposed to be the year I finally caught up to the person who had awesome paces. Who overcame challenges and obstacles that hindered her path. Except I stopped chasing her. Instead she was found only in pictures of the proud accomplishments.
The year became one of twists and turns - and not in a good way. The fall I took in 2022 hung around. My last chance to get miles in was early in 2023 and after that it became uncomfortable. Trusting what the sports therapists and trainers thought I continued to strengthen my muscles - thinking they were weak. But after a visit to the doctor, it was determined I had arthritis in my low back. However, trusting the therapists again, I was encouraged that it would be manageable.
My walking /running slowed and eventually stopped. It didn't mean I wasn't moving. One of the twists involved lending the movement of my legs to someone who was immobile. He didn't like it but that was the card he had been dealt. Pushing the wheelchair was a workout of its own. There were days my back revolted. I was thankful for my upper body strength. Crossing finish lines took a back seat. But it didn't stop me from showing up and cheering other runners on. And if truth be known, I was a little envious I was not able to be running along side them. I somehow had been called elsewhere where I was needed.
The wheelchair was no longer being pushed. And although he tried his hardest at trying to walk again, it was not going to happen. In the last few months of 2023, I relied on my strengthening workouts with my ever positive trainer. Instead of pushing the wheelchair I sat by his bedside and watched him lose all movement. At the same time, being grateful of the movement I still have. My legs were not getting in miles as before, but they still carried me. And although my body felt tired at times, I kept moving. His tired body eventually surrendered and let go. Even if I wanted to get miles in, the mourning and grief I experienced took over.
It wasn't until October that I stumbled upon another bump. Arthritic hips. The doctor was surprised I accomplished what I had with the arthritis in my hips. I started to wonder if this is what I left it. If it was, then I was proud of what I accomplished. The numerous finish lines I crossed. Finishing a 3rd half marathon. My first triathlon. Maybe the bucket list in my mind was not approved by my body. I would have to learn to be okay with that. But....I decided (only so I could walk normally and get back to pain free normal living) to get hip surgery.
So enter the new year. I scheduled the hip surgery for later January. I started Googling articles on returning to power walking/running after a hip replacement and have been encouraged with the results. Does that mean I can maybe pick up where I left off on my list of goals? Possibly. I am not opposed to amending my goal list, for that matter, my bucket list. So maybe a full marathon is not in the cards. I am content with finishing a half for the 4th, 5th, and 6th time. Would I like to finish another triathlon? Absolutely. Does it mean crossing off running down the red carpet finish line after tackling 140 miles of sweat? Maybe.
I am hoping 2024 will be somewhat flat like The Woodlands Marathon course, with maybe a hill or two. I plan on making myself a priority. Ten years ago I had an a-ha moment. God walked through that storm with me. I know He is with me for this one - because he knows I am STILL not done. There's a big celebration coming in 2025 - or 2026. I can't remember. That's for another blog.
Because today is not that day! It helps that it's covered in glitter all the weigh. Happy New Year!
