So have you started them yet? Better get out a pen and paper

"Today is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one!"

Okay, so there is basically 2 weeks left until it starts all over again.  But they will go faster than you can blink.  Look how fast Christmas arrived just from Thanksgiving!  So, grab a pen and paper. Get a head start on them now.  Okay, take a day or two to brainstorm about what will go on the paper.

I was so happy last year when, for the first time, in a very long time, "lose weight" did not appear on my list of "resolutions."  Nor was the phrase "exercise more."  If you ask my mom, she might say I need to "exercise less."  Ha!  I was thinking of things I'd like to do this next year.  Unfortunately, lose weight makes an appearance.  Maybe I should say "get back to goal."  I am just 10 pounds away from the top of my range and not having to pay!  Let's pray I don't slip and slide!  Once I get back to that number, I am doing my VERY best not to leave.  

So, get back to goal is on my list, but so are a few other non-related weight things.  However, if I think about it, these things are somewhat weight related.....to me.  My former self would not have wanted to do these things.  Could not have done these things.  It's like the 6 degrees of..... game. Almost always, it all leads back to a successful weight loss journey.  I thought I'd share with you some of the things on my 2017 To Do list.  

Get back to goal has already been covered.....and ad nauseam I think.  

1. Participate in a 5k/month.  I had planned on doing that last year with my walking buddy, but didn't get around to it, then she moved.....yeah, that was a hard moment in my life. Plus I was out of work. So in 2017, I want to do a 5k a month.  I think I have found a buddy to do them with me.  Is a marathon on my list?  Maybe....but 2018.  I need to train a little more.  I am only walking half of what I used to walk (partly due to full time job) so I will need to train a little harder. 

2. Take a cooking class.  Just because it sounds fun.  I found a place just up the road that has cooking classes for the common people.  Nothing too fancy or too gourmet.  I have recruited two of my funny and fab neighbors to come along for the ride.  If anything, we'll cook for each other.  

3. Look into dance lessons.  So I watched a movie a few weeks back can't remember the name.  Had Richard Gere and J Lo in it.  A dance move.  Although learning how to two step sounds fun and probably a more logical choice, I would like to learn a more elegant way to dance.  Not that anyone will ask me to go dancing, just something to do.  You never know......new people to meet.  

4. Take a pole dancing class.  What?!  Yep a pole a dancing class.  For fitness reasons of course.  I know a friend who takes one and she loves it.  Again, I recruited a couple of my neighbors to come along with me so all three of us can make fools of ourselves.  But it'd be a new form of activity and I hear it's very good for you.  

5.  I resurrected my old bike earlier this year, but unfortunately it had to go into rehab.  Needs new tires, a new seat, and goodness knows what else.  But I'd like to make it like new again and start riding.  

6. Read up on how to really eat clean.  Yes, I eat clean MOST OF THE TIME but not exclusively.  I think that would help me with the cravings I sometimes have.  I want to really learn to honor my body and treat it well.  I want it to be around for a very long time.  If that means learning to eat things I've never tried before, then so be it.  I'm sure there'll be a few yuks! now and then. 

Starting January 1, 2017, I have a new book to write.  Crisp, white never been written on pages.  It's exciting to think how it will start and end, and all the things in the middle.  This past year, I have to come realize and accept, was a year of adjusting.  Like many, I reached lifetime and at a weight I haven't seen in, well many many years.  My mind checked out and I was desperately looking for something (or someone) to grab hold of to pull me back up.  All these things above ARE weight related in some fashion.  

I hope each one of my readers, friends, followers, and fellow Weight Watchers has a More than Merry Christmas and a Fantastical New Year!!  Mine of course will be GlitterAllTheWeigh!!!

Get excited about this new 365 page book!  

Sometimes all that is needed is to be understood

As I was trying to think of a quote to start out this blog, I clicked on You Tube.  You Tube suggests videos for you to watch.  I like the singer Sara Bareilles and her song Brave. But there is  song by her that just spoke to me and helped me inspire to write this blog.  You can watch and listen to it here: Used to Be Mine

I went to pieces last week when I put on just .4 lbs.  Not sure why I went to pieces and wanted to thrown in the towel......oh wait, yes I do.  Besides the Visitor being here, that .4 was just what I needed to cry and pout and maybe resign myself that I will never get back to my goal weight.  I stood there trying to listen to the leader who was trying so hard to comfort and encourage me.  Maybe the scale was trying to tell me this is where I needed to be....needed to stop.  I know it should be about more than just that black and white number on the scale, but it will always be a number to me.

People may not understand why I get up with the chickens to get my 10,000 steps in before work.  I had a friend of mine comment that the 13 miles (average) I used to walk daily was insane.  My response to him was I do it so at the end of the day I know I've done everything I can to prevent the weight (however small it might be) from creeping back on.

I know there are some that don't truly understand why I don't eat certain things.  I gave up many things when I was diagnosed diabetic and doing without them just became habit.  The vices I once had (the Diet Cokes, pizza, chips, etc.) are now replaced with healthier vices.  I do my best to eat cleanly and my vices now are apples and berries.   I realize we're supposed to indulge a little; have that ice cream or a pizza if we want.  That is what some do not understand about me.  There is a logical reason.  I choose not to eat those things because they are triggers for me.  That's why I don't eat cookies (try my best not to), cake, or candy.  If I have ONE cookie, I'll want another because one cookie is lonely without a mate.  So if I have 2, why not make it a triple.......you get the picture.  An example, the basket of overflowing leftover Halloween candy a few weeks ago at the office......I thought I could have a small box of Nerds candies.  I had one, then two, then two became three.

When I reached goal and then received the lifetime status, I wanted that weight to be so far gone it would disappear in the distance.  I think I will always have THAT fear of it coming back.  I realize it's supposed to "beyond the scale" and while this is a process, I wish people would understand that, to me, just a 5 pound gain scares me to death.  It means it's 5 pounds closer to a number I don't want.  And if I'm closer to a number fear, that means, all 375 pounds creeping back on is not far behind.

That most days I don't recognize me.......It's not easy to know I'm not anything like I used to be.....I still remember that girl.....She is gone but she used to be mine....It's not what I asked for....

I know the the eyebrows are furrowing and thinking, she didn't ask to lose weight?  There are STILL days I wake up and after I get dressed don't even recognize me.  But when a few pounds come back, I am reminded of the girl I used to be.  It's a frightening thing.  It's hard to understand unless one has experienced it for themselves.  What I didn't ask for was all the difficulties of maintaining this weight, the psychology of it all.  I know it comes with the territory, just wish it was easier.  But then again, life is not always fair....but that's another blog for another day.

She is imperfect, but she tries......she is good but she lies.......she is hard on herself....she is broken and won't ask for help.....she is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie.  A healthy pie!

There are days I don't track EVERYTHING I stick in my mouth.  I am way too hard on myself.  If I don't get my 5-6 miles in (or my 10,000 steps) I feel unproductive.  But that's what makes everyone unique.  The way a weight loss journey is handled.  And it helps if it's understood by people and like my non-existent dating life, if they just nod and say okay.

Have a great week!  Oh, update:  When I weighed in this past week, I lost 2.2 lbs.  Bust through that number I was stuck on.  Now if I can keep the momentum to reach the goal by the new year!

Christina