Rebuilding requires getting dirty

"There is nothing more powerful or radical or stunningly beautiful than a woman who chooses to rebuild her life day after day, after day.  No matter how many pieces there are to pick up, or how many mistakes she must spin into gold."   Carol Alwill Leyba

I've been on a very long hiatus.  It wasn't entirely intentional.  My life ended up taking a few twists and turns down paths I wasn't expecting.  My blog made its way to the back burner.

November marked six years since I initially walked through the Weight Watchers doors.  As I have chronicled many times, the journey has been a bit of a whirlwind and not without challenges.  This year's end finds me above goal again and it's been difficult returning to onderland.  To retaining the lifetime status. The status of being free and only required to weigh in once a month for it to count.  I've not wavered, thrown in the towel, or stopped going to meetings while working to get back to my goal weight.  Stress is an evil thing.  It comes in many forms and I probably have experienced all of them.  

The second time I go back to my goal weight should have served as a lesson.  I think I have admitted this before, but when I reached my goal weight in 2016, I thought I could handle this new lease on life.  Dining out?  I got this.  Handling maintenance?  No problem.  But it became a problem.  I went about my merry way, excited to be in a weight range I hadn't seen since probably high school.  Life weaseled its way in and set up shop.  And my former self showed up a time or two.  I didn't learn to handle stress, among other things.  I started 2018 at goal but I had a job where the stress grew little by little.  By March I was above goal again and it wasn't coming off as quickly as it did a year earlier.  

So here I am, ending 2019 once again trying to lose weight.  I do think about how far I've come yet the 25-30 lbs I packed on are just a big sore spot.  I guess because I worked so hard to lose the weight - in the end 202.6 pounds.  I told myself it was NEVER going back on.  I let myself down.  I went back on my own word.  

That is not to say that I am still somewhat disciplined about what I eat.  When I look at a nutritional label, I look at all numbers.  Fat, sodium, sugar, carbs, fiber, etc.   When I've become stagnate with the weight coming off, I've tried a few different things.  I got on the protein bar train, but in the end, I decided I can live without them.   I tried the Built Bars and again decided if I wasn't eating then before, why introduce them into my eating lifestyle because most Weight Watchers can't live without them.  

In September of this year I signed up for boot camp.  Camp Gladiator.  I have an awesome trainer.  And I'm proud of myself - and sometimes in awe - that I show up and power through each session.  I long to get back to the days where I walk close to 10 miles a day.  But a nasty tumble I took in January I think took care of that.  I hurt my knee and did something to it.  God was watching over me that cool January morning.  Walked away with a busted lip (badly) and injured knee.   Running for me was on the back burner.  I've introduced a little at a time lately.  I hate it that I'm limited to what I can do.  

I vow that 2020 will be my year.  I WILL get back to my happy weight goal.  What are your goals for 2020?  Have you started on New Years Resolutions?  I've started thinking about them.  

How will 2020 be your year?  One thing I know for sure, for me 2020 will be Glitter all the Weigh


Merry Christmas! 
Christina