How did I get here?

"I am proud of the woman I am today; I went through one hell of a time to become her." 

I started this blog 6 years ago this month.  Hopefully, I have some new readers and/or followers so I thought I'd write about how this blog started and my story of how I got here.   Get comfy, grab a cup of coffee, and the iPad.  My first blog post was Just here to tell a story and published on May 21, 2015.   The idea was suggested by a lady in a Weight Watcher meeting.   I didn't know the first thing about writing a blog.  But I came up with a name (I think it suits me since I like anything sparkly and shiny).  The idea of this blog was to chronicle this personal journey of mine.    

When I started the blog, I was already down 165 lbs.  I lost that weight in just over a year.  Something I couldn't quite fathom or comprehend.  Just a year earlier I had no idea what was in store for me.  It took a serious aha moment to make me sit up and realize this was serious business.  For the better part of my adult life, I used food as a shield, not wanting to admit it was also the problem.  I used it as a shield from so many things.... dating, rejection, social activities.  It became a security blanket.  It never judged me or rejected me.  

I ushered 2014 in with some low back pain, thinking it was a pulled muscle.  Then March arrived and told me things were about to change.   A trip to the ER was the beginning of a 6-day hospital stay.  Diabetic sugars of 534 which could have proved to be deadly.  There have been moments when I think if I hadn't gone to the ER when I did, I would not be here telling you this story.  

The next few months were spent adjusting to a new ballgame and its rules.  Soon it became easy, and the weight started dropping.  Every time I stepped on the scale; numbers went down.  I hit the first 50, then 100, then 150 lbs.  I couldn't believe it.  This was what I had dreamt about.  When I stepped on the scale shortly before my 44th birthday, I was down 165 lbs.  I had a decision to make.  The decision of what my goal would be.  So, after discussing it with my doctor, I set what I thought was my final goal.  I reached that goal on Father's Day of 2016.  I remember stepping on the scale, feeling tears streaming down my face.  I did it!

There were other surprises in store though.  Good surprises.  I started walking half marathons every day, yes which prompted me to enter my first official half marathon.  So, on the day I was to reach Lifetime, I stepped on the scale and had another decision to make.  I reset what I thought had been my final goal.   This final goal would have me losing 200 lbs.  My thinking behind this was I wanted to be far enough from my starting number that I couldn't see it.  

I reached that goal just six months after reaching the first one.  And it was in December before Christmas.  What an early Christmas present!!  In January of 2016, I reached Lifetime.  The day before weighing in, I walked about 5-6 miles with a friend of mine.  We discussed stepping on the scale and what if the number was too low.  I decided to step on the scale first (before it was registered) and if it was too low, I’d wear my shoes.  That did the trick.  I weighed in at a number I hadn’t seen since high school. 

My life has been a whirlwind since then.  I've learned things about myself.  I've conquered several things I never thought I would do.  Finished 3 half marathons and several other races.  Conquered paddle board yoga - read about it here. There have been ups and downs, as with everything, but I try to take them in stride.  

Among some of the important things I learned was the mental aspect must be worked on as well.  While I was actively losing the weight, I concentrated on the physical part and neglected the mental side.  Because of that, that little voice kept showing back up.  The voice that belonged to the old me.  So, I am working on the mental side and making sure it’s on the same page as the physical.

I am excited about the next 50 years.  I have plans that just 10 or 15 years ago I couldn’t imagine.  

Looking forward to the next 50 years....of course they will be glitter all the weigh. 

"Nothing changes except what has to..."

Before you get comfy and start reading, you may have noticed a change in the blog title.  I think it adds a sporty touch to it.  I am still about being a healthier me and losing some unwanted pounds, but as you read, my mindset is shifting.  

If there's one thing to be known about me, it's I do not like change.  Let me correct.... there are some changes I am okay with.  But mostly, change scares me.  

I'm okay if I make the change (what I eat, change up in activity, etc.).  But it's the change of the unknown that makes me have the heebie-jeebies.  

In recent months, I've hit a stall, a plateau if you will.  My focus blurred.  Comfortability with food set in.  The little voice I tried to muffle is back trying to be the voice of reason.  Well, that must stop.    How do you handle that little voice?  

So, in an effort to get my focus clear again, I started with some evaluating of the journey I've taken these last 7-8 years. (before you tell me that what I am about to say is right, the fact remains I will always have some struggle.)  My focus has been to lead a healthier lifestyle and working on getting my lifetime goal weight back.   

There has been a shift.  Mindset shift.  Oh, I still want to lose these unwanted friends that found their way back.  Getting back to the happy number.  I know I can get there.  I still need accountability, but I wonder if I've learned all I can from Weight Watchers.  

The shift is fueling my body properly for the things I have planned for it.  Realizing my body is capable of so much more and telling my mind I can do whatever I set it to do.  (I used to have that confidence but lost it somewhere along the way) 

I turn the Big 50 in a few weeks.  It's another somewhat big milestone.  What do I want for myself in the next 50 years?  Hmmm.  I want so many things.  I want to make sure I honor my body by eating healthy.  I want to continue running and entering races.  On the personal side...well, that's for another blog/post. 

Recently, I attended and watched my first triathlon.  I cheered on some runner friends that were there to cross a triathlon off their bucket list.  They gave 110% to swim in somewhat rough waters, hurriedly climb on a bike to trek around town, then finish with a 5k/10k run.  I watched as these athletes emerged from the water to climb on the bikes, then complete a run to the finish.  It's hard not to be inspired or motivated. There were people of every size and shape accomplishing something really big.  I get inspired and motivated every time I watch a race.  I have this fear of looking stupid when I go on a run. (Maybe that's why I run while everyone is sleeping). But I pile the hair on my head and strike out to run my best.  Because at the finish line or after a long run, there are the cheers, woo hoos, and pats on the back.

I recently started on a different journey of mine.  A bit of a secret project.  Something I used to do but fell out of practice.  Thought if I wanted to be serious and conquer some big goals, I would need a little help.  I'm excited and nervous at the same time.  Stick with me and watch me shine! 

I doubt the 25, 35, or even 45-year-old me thought this is what I'd be doing when I turn 50.  This excites me.  That and having not 1, but 3 bikinis in my drawer to wear this summer!  

Remember when you run, do it with glitter all the weigh!