What if I just didn't show up?

"To stay on the map, you've got to keep showing up."

Everyone has them.  Those days it would be easier to go off the map.  Fly under the radar.  Asking the question what if I just didn't show up?  

I've pushed myself more this year than in past years.   I conquered some new challenges, tried to get on the same page as my over enthusiastic mind, and stepped  farther away from this thing I call my comfort zone.   The box.  I may not have retreated back to the box, but I have moved backward.   What I thought was progress was just several steps back after taking a step forward.  

Currently I am trying to find the joy again in what I do.  Those words come from my #secretproject person.  The joy in getting miles in before dawn.   But through all of these things, I still show up.  I still crawl out of bed (most days) and get out there and get something done.   I have learned over the past several years that I do not like feeling limited to what I can do.  

I wrote about my first experience with a full on triathlon.  A short triathlon.  I remember as I stood at the swim start line and my friend looked on, I told her I couldn't do this.   Yet, with her (and many others) words of wisdom, I swept whatever thoughts of not showing up to the side and finished.  

Let's do some time traveling, shall we?  There are a few who are not familiar with my story....the journey I took.  It would have been easy for me to leave things the way they were, take the medicine, and leave things unchanged.   What if I just didn't show up?  Didn't show up and make that 360 degree life change.   What if?  I know if I had just not shown up I wouldn't be alive to motivate and inspire (discreetly) others.  I wouldn't have the  privilege to experience the things I have experienced.  I wouldn't have met the awesome people I now know and call friends.  

What if I just didn't show up? The start line to the many races I have completed.  The finish line I cross, most times with happy tears, as a symbol my body can do most anything.  I owe myself to show up and give it 100%.   Even on the days I much rather not. If I had just not shown up, I wouldn't know it's possible to lose 202 lbs. and have a life I'd only imagined.  

Take a breather and ask this; What if I just didn't show up? To the invitation from a friend.  Doing something out of the norm.  Taking a chance....on anything.  It's true nothing good happens inside the comfort zone.   

I continue to push myself.  Take those chances.  Sometimes good.  Sometimes not so good.   Then there are surprises.   But what if I had just not shown up?  We'll never know.  

What if you just didn't show up?  I'll continue to show up...and with glitter all the weigh of course! 

Hope my hot weather friends stay cool and hydrated!  

This is not a dress rehearsal

 "Understand that this is not a dress rehearsal.  Face your fears, live your dreams.  Take it all in, yes every chance you get, come closer.  And by all means, get it on film."

There is only one life.  One life to live to its fullest.  Take those risks, learn to step far outside the comfort zone.  Do things that are scary.   In March of 2014 I was given a second chance to live this life.  To eventually take risks, enjoy all of its wonder.   Step outside my comfort zone - eventually so far I think I need to put it up for sale.   I went from being isolated to knocking out close to a half marathon a day, scaling an indoor rock, and conquering downward dog on a paddleboard.  

I conquered my first triathlon recently. Blame my over confident enthusiastic mind.  Choosing an all girl race and the shortest distance, I thought it would be something I could handle.  It fell under something new, risk taking, and further outside the comfort zone.  Swim. Bike. Run.  The three parts of the multisport.  At first glance, 200 yd swim, 8 mile bike ride and short 2 miles seemed doable.   My vintage Huffy was about to get a work out.   

"What will get you to the finish line is nothing compared to what got you to the start line." 

Despite the abundance of encouraging words, I was focusing on the one task that might give me difficulty.  The bike.  I hadn't hopped on the old Huffy in about a year and a half.  What's the quote?  It's like riding a bike - you never forget.  Well, it was a little more difficult than that.  I focused too much on this giant (yes although short, giant) task in front of me.  My first multisport "race."  I fail to look at how far I've come.  To see the work that got me to this point. 

The morning started with me setting up in transition.  I forgot my flip flops but a runner friend loaned me hers.  Made mental note to include flip flops in next triathlon bag.  I stood at the shore line watching the support kayaks position the buoys.  Along with the other orange capped ladies, I slowly made my way into the water.  I swam about one third to the buoy and it hit me I was in open water.  The cliff notes version of the swim is that I did finish and make it to the shoreline and headed towards T1.

With some assistance, I successfully mounted my vintage Huffy and took off on the 8 mile course.  I wasn't out to win anything or even try to finish in record time.  I pedaled my way along the course repeating I can do this.  I forgot to mention I was the LAST cyclist out of transition.  So the only thing for me to follow was the orange cones.   I was in tears  as I reached the finish.  I had completed the bike.  What I thought would be the easiest was the most challenge. Two miles.  Should be no problem.  My legs thought otherwise.  But some amazing women made sure I would not quit - coming to find me on the course.  This is the point where I usually run across the finish line.  But on this day, I was just happy to walk across the finish line.  I got that medal and knowing I didn't give up.  I conquered something new.  

Will I do another one?  Most likely with more training.  And a new bike. After all, the road to the red carpet has to start somewhere.   And it's not without struggles.   I was reminded that I CAN do great things.  Sometimes the struggles take center stage and the progress we make takes a back seat.  It sits there quietly, sometimes gently nudging you.  

By the way, yes I got it on film.  Well my friends did.  The next one I do, I'll be more confident and better, and as always, will do it with glitter all the weigh.  

 

Remember to face those fears, live those dreams most of all...get it on film.

Christina 

I try therefore I am

It seems I have become emersed in a community of people that enjoy testing the limits of what they can do.  They push themselves every day and make the most of their dash.  They are marathoners, Ironmen, and champions.  Lately I've found myself motivated and inspired by them.  They have crossed the famous finish line with the unicorn at Boylston Street and reached the red carpet finish line.  

Every year, where I live becomes the center of one of the biggest races.  Athletes come from all over to compete, to test their limits, make their dream come true.  Swim 2.4 miles.  112 bike course and then an entire marathon.  Reach the red carpet and become an Ironman.  

I am training for my next secret project and adventure.  To dip my toes in the water of the sport or multisport you could say.  Not sure how I'll fare, but I'm willing to give it a try. 

Last week I was more a spectator than a participant.  Wanting to soak up all the motivation and inspiration I could.  I'm still chasing her.  The vibe she has.  I want her paces again and her undying enthusiasm to try anything.  My mind has no shortage of being enthusiastic and wanting to do hard things.   But what it overflows with enthusiasm, it lacks in motivation and sometimes confidence.  

The fact I lost 202 lbs. should be motivation enough.  Not to go back to the beginning.  And it is.  But there are days I need that extra push.  The adage of "if she can do it so can I."  

As I watched these first timers enthusiastically run towards the table to pick up the important info needed for race day, I couldn't help but imagine myself being on the other side of the table one day.   I chatted with a woman who was so excited to be doing this race, she couldn't stop smiling.  The questions that formed in my head to ask those that were doing this for the 13th, 20th, or 100th time overflowed.   

They were making the most of the dash - between those two dates that we all have.  Even those I knew that made their way to Boston to run that marathon were crossing something off their bucket list.  

Several years ago, I wasn't one to jump in and volunteer.  As part of making the most of my dash, I volunteered at our local marathon and met people I had been following on Instagram.  You would have thought we had been friends from the start.  I felt proud to hang the medal they were running for around their neck.   I still say there is no better place than the finish line. 

So on a picture perfect Saturday afternoon, I stood poised at the famous red carpet finish line, water in hand, ready to catch that tired athlete.   The roar of the crowd, cheers, noisemakers, added to the excitement.   I looked down on the athletes still making their way through the marathon and would later read of the tough and dark times they encountered.  But also the angels that just happened to appear along side of them.  That's the beautiful thing.  There will be people, strangers and friends, who will encourage you along the way.  It's happened to me.  When I think it'd be easy to just stop, there's always someone nudging me and telling me I can do this.  

There was a time I wasn't interested in the sport.  But that all changed when I started losing weight and participated in my first half marathon.  I tried, therefore I am.   One medal led to two, three, and you get the picture.   When I lack the motivation or inspiration, I watch prior race recap videos.   People with more serious obstacles are out there crossing things off their bucket list.  Living the most of their dash.  

As the night fell, it was as if the sun set and excitement exploded.   After many long hours, athletes were making their way home - sometimes 5 or 6 at a time!  I saw so many smiles, tears (no doubt from exhaustion and happiness), and looks of finality.  If that doesn't give one motivation and inspiration I'm not sure what does.   I've said before I run on emotion.  I cry every time I cross a finish line.   

My mind was in overdrive with thoughts of challenging myself.  To be honest I think part of me just wants to run through Hippie Hollow - because as one knows the rule, there is no walking through Hippie Hollow.   That psychedelic vibe can give you fuel to finish anything.  

I try  therefore I am.  There should be no fear of failure.  Only fear of not trying.    Something I should repeat to myself.  I will not make a PR at my next adventure, I may even finish last, but I'm out there trying.   

We all inspire people but even the ones that inspire need motivation and inspiration at times.   How are you inspiring?  How are you living the dash between those two dates?

Can't wait to join the rest of you on the magical finish lines in the future.    I'll be doing it with glitter all the weigh.

Choose Joy!

"Choose joy! Don't wait for things to get easier, simpler, better.  Life will always be complicated.  Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you will run out of time.  We can't often choose our circumstances, but we can better control our reactions and emotions.  Choose joy!" 

We're already halfway through March of 2022.  Things seem to be returning to a normality.   Races are returning live, even with post race parties!  There is one race I always sign up for and that's my local half marathon.  I've participated in it twice in person and once virtually.  I was excited about it.  I love the excitement, the energy, and activities on race day.   

I've been on the struggle bus lately.  Trying to find joy in running, even walking, again.  As last year ended and 2022 started, I fell into a slump.  Realizing my training wasn't going as I wanted or envisioned, I opted to downgrade to the 10k race.  I would still get to participate in race day and earn another medal.  

I've also had an issue with body image lately.  I am a forever work in progress.   I do remember where I've come from.  How far I've come.  And when it may seem I forget, I have people that remind me.   I want the smaller me from a few years ago. The smaller me that the new people in my circle haven't seen.  I'm always chasing the girl with the 13:30 mile.  I'm hoping she'll stop one day to tie her shoes so I can catch up.   Until then I'll conquer everything I can.  

The Woodlands Marathon is something I try to do annually.  It's like a celebration of what I'm capable of.  It's been six years since I reached my weight loss goal and earned my first half marathon medal.  After 15 races later, I still find crossing the finish line (no matter the distance) thrilling and exciting.  

The Woodlands Marathon 10k of 2022 was the 2nd race of the year for me.  I said once I'd like to do one race a month, ending up with 12 races for the year.   But with the unforgiving heat and humidity with Texas summers, plans will change.  I would love to do more destination races but not this year.  

I finished the race - a little longer than I predicted - but I crossed the finish line.   I run/walk on passion and determination.  But it was not optimal racing weather I was told.   Did I cross it with a smile?  Can't remember...I do know there were tears of exhaustion.   

I remember a time when I didn't care about races, medals, or crossing a finish line.  It all changed when I started to focus on staying healthy, exercise.  When I was able to knock out 10 miles and think nothing of it.  

This comfort zone of mine keeps getting smaller.  I know it's still there and there are times I gravitate towards it.   I have two more races before I take a break.  Both are to support a wonderful and special friend.  One will be my first triathlon.  Nervous?  You bet.  But, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  

My goal is always to finish with a smile and have fun.  I may have taken a few steps backward but I will find those steps forward again.  One of these days, my mind and body will finally be on the same page.  And when they are, they will Run with Glitter all the Weigh.  All while trying to get back to my happy number.  It's all about timing.

Have a great week!  Will you choose joy? 

Christina  💗

Don't be afraid to fail....Be afraid not to try

 

Happy New Year!  Okay, so I'm a bit late.  Like many of you, 2021 probably wasn't what I thought it would be.  And 2022 was somewhat ushered in quietly.  Okay, almost.  But I like to focus on the good things.  No major injuries!  There were a few graceful stumbles, some scraped knees and elbows.  

I started 2022 by running (woggling) a 5k on New Years Day to support a friend.  I, along with "thousands" of his friends, got up early after celebrating New Years to support him.  Calendar said January 1, 2022, but I think Mother Nature was confused. Weather felt more like an early spring morning - humidity in abundance.  

It wasn't a pretty race for me.  But I took it as a fun race and had a mimosa afterwards.  I'm in the midst of training for my next adventure - my 4th The Woodlands half marathon.   Some of the old me returned so I'm working hard to get rid of her.   

Recently I cheered on my fellow running family and friends in the Chevron Houston Marathon.  What a fabulous race!  What an awesome morning for it!  I witnessed two records made and was beyond inspired and motivated.   I listed on my New Years bucket list I wanted to try and do a race a month.  One month down, eleven more to go.  

I was so inspired and motivated by the Chevron race that I have already signed up for my first adventure of 2023.  Shhh!  Keep it under wraps for now.  

Let's time hop and take a look back at 2021.....

I ended 2021 completing 6 races, getting a PR or two, and wondering what other dream I can chase.  Did I enjoy it?  You betcha!  I went to my first out of town race for the RunDallas BMW 50th Anniversary marathon weekend.  That was so much fun!  Spent a weekend in early December with runner friends, ran across the finish line, and cheered other fellow runners who chose to go the distance.  My mind would like to put the Dallas race on my annual calendar.  Hmmm?

The road trip included not one, but two, stops at Buccees.  That is a dangerous store!  I'm late to the party when it comes to Beaver Nuggets but boy are they good!  Addicting. 

In October of 2021, I ran the streets of downtown Houston on Halloween. Ran the streets with a sidekick who said she'd do it with me. The box I clung to for so many years is slowly fading...although there are times I work my way back to it.  

I redeemed myself and finished a 10 mile race in November.  Words of encouragement and motivation are all around.  And I had a sidekick that stayed with me the entire time...nicely telling me I couldn't stop.  And when the finish line was in view, she gently nudged me and told me it was mine and to go ahead.   

There was a time when I couldn't fathom making it to any starting line.  Let alone crossing a finish line.  I enjoy cheering on other runners just as much as I look forward to seeing what my body is capable of.  Running across the finish line.  Or going the distance. 

I can't wait to see what 2022 has in store for me.  Not only with running, but everything!  You can bet I'll run with glitter all the weigh through 2022!

Remember to chase your dreams, because dreams can't chase you back.  

Christina  

"Every day during training, you were challenged with multiple physical events. Long runs, long swims, obstacle courses, hours of calisthenics, something designed to test your mettle. Finally, in SEAL training there is a bell - a brass bell that hangs in the compound for all the students to see. All you have to do to quit - all you have to do to quit - is ring the bell. Ring the bell, and you no longer have to wake up at five o'clock. Ring the bell, and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT, and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training. All you have to do to ring the bell to get out. "If you want to change the world, don't ever, ever ring the bell."