You will.... again

 "You will be in the moment again. You will find yourself again. You will get into a routine again. You will believe in something bigger than yourself again. You will return because you're not going backwards, but softening inwards. You are bringing into expression the person who has always lived inside. You have not lost the hope within you, for it is the home that will always be your final destination."

Do we really want to talk about 2024? If we must, okay. It was a weird year but the situation(s) gave me time to take care of myself. I think I posted about my left hip surgery. After I recovered I thought things would get back to how they were. I was wrong. I just looked at the last time I blogged. August of 2024. Wow. There are many holes. It was decided that my right hip needed replacing as well. So, in September, I geared up for another surgery. This time, I knew what to expect with recovery.  I could extend the cliffs notes version, but there's not much excitement for the rest of the year.  

Well, except that recovery went well and by Thanksgiving I was walking again. No pain, no limping, no braces. My awesome coach increased my mileage by .25 miles every two weeks. By December I was walking 3 miles during the week and 4 on Saturday.  

I am finally headed toward the moment again. The one where I am doing what I enjoy. Have I found myself again? Not quite. But I am slowly returning to a routine again. And if I can toot my own horn, it feels fantastical.  

I told myself that I would start running again in January. Well, I followed through. I am still in a coral very far in the back, but I am in a much better place than I was the last time I crossed a start line. I am almost forced to enjoy this journey and the progression. I do not mind. I run and there is no pain. Even the arthritic knee holds off until I finish. I adore the friends who have encouraged me along the way. Watched me as I crawled out of a hole only to walk normal again.  They are almost as excited as I am or more watching my progress.  

I still giggle as I put on my socks and lace up my shoes. And I certainly giggle when I cross my legs. I hate to burst the bubble, but.....I still have those thoughts from time to time. I had one earlier this week. You would think after all this time I’d be an expert at how to handle them.

I am on the cusp of something big and I need to make these weeks count. I have no time for bumps. You’ll remind me that everyone has them. While this is true they have mastered the art of letting them roll off the back.

I almost want to chant “today is not that day.” I am excited about returning to my routines. I am excited about being active again. There’ll be a day when I wake up and those thoughts are kept at bay.

And I will run with glitter all the weigh…again.