"The body doesn't know the difference between nerves and excitement, panic, and doubt, the beginning, and the end. The body just tells you to get the hell out. Sometimes you ignore it....."
There's a lot to unpack.....shall I just write the Cliff Notes version?
It's been a few months since I posted. There's been some highs and some lows. I finished my first long distance New Years weekend (previous post) (virtual 10 miler which I received a medal for) with titanium hips and was full on training for my 4th half overall and first with new hips.
Marathon Weekend approached. Nerves were ever present but I could see the finish line in my head. Here's the short story version: I DNFd. Simple. <I heard the gasp and the 'oh nos.'> I could ramble on psychologically about why but it doesn't change anything. I will tell you it wasn't because of injury, if that puts you at ease. I won't say when I stopped because I do not think it matters in the big picture. I will say this though, she very much lives in my head and on race day, she was front and center. If you want to know about her, read this post or this earlier one. (Although I recently learned whose voices they really are).
I took time to reflect on the training that was to lead to my 4th half marathon. Did I train hard enough? Did I train ENOUGH? I will confess there were some Saturdays I didn't quite finish those training miles. When I stopped at the benches I would pray to God for confidence and strength to get me to the finish line. But I realized I did not tell him what finish line. So, I did what any normal, crazy person who is addicted to this sport does, I signed up for the 2027 half marathon. My redeemer race - we all have one. I am still out there getting miles in and improving on my runs. Taking a different approach. After I had that moment, I joined others at the finish line and welcomed other tired souls who finished.
