Unlike in dating, you have to work at it for it to happen

Good morning wet Weight Watcher people (and my other friends)!  I hope most of you are dry and safe.  Those that aren't, you'll be in my prayers.  Just pray y'all have healthy good snacks in the house.  I'm ready for some sunshine.  

Thought I would do a similar post as I will in my dating blog, Dating and Afraid: Girlfriend's Point of View.  I had a friend tell me that if you have to work at getting someone to notice you, then it's not meant to be.  She has a point, although I don't like to hear it because apparently it's not meant to be for me so many times.  

But it's different when you're losing weight.  It WILL happen if you work at it.  Work is needed to be successful at losing weight and the relationship with one's self.  

During my first phase, I worked so hard for the weight to come off.  After I lost about 50 lbs I realized it could happen if I ate right, exercised, and just followed the program.

Have you ever associated losing weight with dating and getting comfortable with someone?  Yes, you have to eat right (which includes healthy foods, portions, and nutrition) and exercise for it to happen. In order for you to get results.  In the beginning it's new and exciting.  Eating the right, healthier foods, giving up those things that are toxic, and exercising helps you lose weight.  Happiness sets in and maybe some giddiness.  The weight comes off.

But then being comfortable with the program as well as the weight that has come off follows.  The newness may have worn off.  The program is part of the new lifestyle and it's here for the long haul. So the excitement of eating those healthy foods and doing activity decreases.  It's no longer "Can't wait to get out there and ride the bike," but "Well, it'll be there tomorrow."   The newness of losing weight must never decrease.  Working at it has to happen for it to work.

I'm guilty of this......several times over.  I became comfortable with the program, losing weight week after week, exercising nearly 7 days a week.  The newness had worn off.  I was no longer working at making it happen.  And what happened?  Weight went back on.  So I have to get back to working at it and think of it as new again.  The newness of the program, finding exercising exciting again.

I do have barricades in the way which will make working at making this new again somewhat challenging.  But wanting it bad enough, I will work at it because I want to save this new me.  I want to save this new found transformation.

So you might find yourself getting comfortable with losing weight and the program.  And to a point you need to be comfortable but not so much that you don't continue working at it.

Prayers go out to those suffering from the floods.  Y'all stay safe and hopefully dry.

Christina

Once was lost but now found

So this 100 mile journey that seems to be very popular with each of us is not without its detours.  I finished the 100 mile journey without turning around at mile 98.  During the journey I was able to pass up the sideline attractions......that is until I reached my final destination.  

Once I reached my final goal, I was ready to see the sights, those sideline attractions.  Or I thought I was.  I pictured them as those tempting booths at carnivals.  You know the ones....offering deep fried everything, the world's biggest turkey leg on a stick, or anything candied.  Then there the rides; the ones that go around and around or straight up and down.  They're not all that fun after eating carnival foods. 

I got lost checking out those sideline attractions and ignored reality for awhile.  Seeing the sights and attractions.  

Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I am what I call directionally challenged.  Just recently have I developed a great relationship with the Google map lady.  Unfortunately she can't help me find my way back to where I need to be.

Just in the last couple of weeks I found the main road again and got back on it.  I hopped on it just before Twoterville.  And if I'm not careful and focused, I will end up there again.   The first stop I planned for was a Weight Watcher meeting.  Thankfully it was on the main route so I didn't have to take a detour.

I know what to do in order not to get lost again.  But those side attractions sometimes get bigger and brighter.  In order to return to the main destination I need to maintain focus.  If that means stopping at every Weight Watcher meeting then that's what I will do.  I am not so far lost that the 202 lbs I have lost is not a testament to my diligence and persistence.

Getting back on the main road also means getting back to basics and have a talk with the ex....she tries for visitation.  When I started this journey I flew by the attractions and didn't think about seeing the sights.  So in order to stay on the main road I need to track everything I eat, which I haven't been doing.   I do okay with breakfast, but it's after morning tracking goes by the wayside.   Ugh!  It's hard. It's like life is saying "I was put on hold while you worked toward your goal.  I'm back and you've got to learn the balance."  Really?!  Why must I learn to balance!?  So this is what the fighter has plans to do.  Get back to goal then add life balance in.  I am in control of what I do.  So if going out is not the best healthiest choice for me, then I will not go out.

I do not like to get lost.  I print a paper map plus listen to the Google lady.  Even after going to the location several times, I will use the GPS.  What does the GPS look like on a weight loss journey?  Well it consists of the voice inside us telling us NOT to have that cookie.  It steers us towards healthier options.  What happens if the GPS is not enabled?  We eat that piece of pecan pie.  Blinders go on when we see a cookie.  We get lost.  Remember to always have your GPS on and follow their directions, not stopping for the side attractions until you reach your destination.

Y'all have a great weekend!  I will be revisiting my high school days by attending a prom Friday night!

Christina 

What to do when you're looking a curve ball in the eye

So the last few weeks have been different.  And as some of you know, I had to do something this last week that as a single woman I didn't want to do.  I am back on the market....that's right so go through your address books, look for those single guys that you think would be perfect for me! 

I also have more time now to devote to this blog and my newest one.....Dating and Afraid: Girlfriend's Point of View.  Most of my dating mishaps will be on that page.  I hope you follow that one as it will keep you entertained.  

I was looking a curve ball in the eye and it was in slow motion.  I will be honest here and say I have put on 11 lbs. since making lifetime.  I feel ashamed for that.  I was sure I would be able to keep it off and make that status a proud one to have.  It was almost as if my ex tried to weasel her way back in and say "Forget about Lifetime.  You have a boyfriend now!"  I don't mean to put the blame on anyone but myself, and I said in my previous blog that it was me who chose the shake and blizzard, but I believe now it was the ex.  She tied up Pandora and myself and was happy as a child at Christmas when she saw Sonic and DQ.  

So what do you do when you're staring a curve ball in the eye?  You can either duck to miss it or deal with it.  Just because something unexpected happened doesn't mean I can't get back to me.  It doesn't mean I struck out of the game.  It means the next time I'm up to bat, I'll hit a home run.  I found the quote below on a site and wanted to include it here:

 "There will be another inning, another game, another chance, and 'how' the curve ball is handled is up to you.  Confidence, spirit and love of the game can be loss or take a stance at home plate, swing like you have never swung before........"

I can get some perspective from this curve ball.  Is it possible I would have put on the 11 lbs. if I hadn't had a boyfriend for a little while?  Maybe, maybe not.  It could be that one thing to make me realize while the break was good it's time to get back in the game.  

Then I can ask myself 'What can I do to fix the situation?'  I'm doing it now.  I'm getting back on track.  While it may take time to swing with a purpose, I'm up to bat and ready to play.  I'll go back to bare bones.  I'll get this weight off and get back to my goal and sparkle with Lifetime status.  Right now, the FEAR just stares me in the face.  I need to knock it down and show it that I am not putting anymore weight back on.

So with the start of baseball season upon us, Spring is in the air, what are you going to do when life throws you a curve ball?  Have a great week!  

Christina 

Sometimes we need the big pink eraser, not just the one on the end of a pencil

"Sometimes we have to see for ourselves.  We have to make our own mistakes.  We have to learn our own lessons.  We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug, until we can't anymore, until we finally understand ourselves......."

If I had not gone through the weight loss journey myself to lose 202 pounds, I would not believe it. It was my sweat (and sometimes tears) that made it possible for me to shed that weight.  The journey certainly wasn't without its challenges.  Happy hours masked as a good time when really a test they were to be.  I had to see for myself that it was necessary to explore life and have fun and how making the healthiest choices could be difficult.  

I reached my second and final goal in December of last year.  I reached Lifetime status in January. Since that time, I participated in my second 5K and my first half marathon, and also put on some of the pounds I worked so hard to lose.  I let the Lifetime status down.  I used the "celebratory" excuse but after last week I no longer can use that excuse.  The fear is real and so is the struggle to maintain this new lifestyle and weight loss.  Eleven pounds have gone back on.  No, that's not so much to lose, but this journey of mine has been interrupted by life.

The new Smart Points Program brought a lot of Aha moments to members.  The piece of pecan pie you might want to splurge on is now what.......21 points?  One might eat a cinnamon roll and have the shock and awe reaction after learning the point value.  Where is the big pink eraser when we need it? Wouldn't it be great if the big pink eraser could be used to erase what has been eaten?  

As much as I try to stay balanced, these tests keep coming up.  Living the single life, for example. There have been several times in the last month that I wished I had a giant pink eraser.  While on date night, I chose to have the small peanut butter shake from Sonic.  I could have easily passed it up  I ate more red meat in one night than I have in the last year.  I slowed down my walking.  After training for the marathon, I guess my body said "Whew! We did it.  Can we take a break now?"  It's been hard getting back into my routine of double digit miles.  On other date nights, I have eaten things I haven't had in a very long time.  I chose to have the peanut butter blizzard from DQ.  And tracking was the furthest thing from my mind.

Goodness I wish I had that pink eraser.  Not just with my continuing weight loss journey but with this single life.  I know I have missed several great moments because I messed them up or ignored them altogether.  I am trying to get out there and have fun.....stay out a little passed my curfew.  Part of me wants to but the dedicated, fighter me says no because 4:30 a.m. comes way too early.   So little steps I take and abandon the fighter me, the Weight Watcher me, at the door.  While out one night, I had chicken strips with french fries.  On another night I had street tacos.  The street tacos were during the week I should have been working my butt off to get this weight off.  Now I am down to this week.  I am hoping if I stay strictly on my program and walk at least 14 miles a day, I will lose at least 5 pounds.

So, while no Chex Mix or chocolate chips, no cookies have entered my house, the jelly beans have! Jelly beans!  I haven't had jelly beans in over 2 years until this week.  Ugh!!!! Pink eraser where are you?!  I am about to go walk about 6 miles this morning before Easter lunch.  I will not , DO NOT want to buy BIGGER clothes.   So my strategy is to begin from the beginning.   Play like I am starting over.  At least that's my plan.  My girlfriend who I walk with told me the other day she could tell I needed a break after reaching goal for the second time.  Burn out was where I was headed by the way I was talking.  She supported this break time of mine she said, but break time is over she said.

I know I have so many of you looking to me as an example.  An example of what hard work, dedication, determination, and loyalty can result in.  I promise to retain that title and not let you down.  For I have a dressy dress and a polka dot swimsuit to still fit into.

Y'all have a great week.....donate all that left over Easter candy somewhere!

Christina

If you have to cry, go outside other things you should know

You know, there are days, okay months too, that I am a combination of "really sweet" and "don't mess with me."

Let's chat about hormones.  Not only the kind that get you starry-eyed at the thought of romance or a night out or the kind that creates those sugar cravings at least once a month.  There is that hormone that causes hunger.  Then there is the stress hormone.  Ugh.  

I am by nature a sensitive person.  I can cry sometimes at the drop of a hat.  I go at things hard and open myself up sometimes.  I do not handle stress all that well.  

Lately I have not been honoring my Lifetime status.  Not sure what it is.  Is it because I've become complacent again with this life?  Have I let life take control?  About 8 lbs. have bone back on and I do not like that.  So it's time to get back into fight mode.  Do I have what it takes?  Absolutely! I have a couple of things coming up and HAVE to get back to goal.

Hormones and weight loss should be in the same category as oil and water.  Am I right?  So, as women, there are at least two weeks (for me anyway) out of every month that can be totally hormonal.  Hell, sometimes those pesky hormones can run rampant the entire month.  Then there is the hunger and stress hormone.

I threw out there asking you if there was something you'd like to me write about.  I know all about hormones.  As I get older, they are twisty and soooo unpredictable.  While I was in the first and second phase of my weight loss journey, I suppose I suppressed any hormones.  They weren't all that noticeable.

After I lost the bulk of the weight, my body started adjusting, including hormone level.  I realized the week Aunt Rosie was in town, I needed to not think about men or anything social.  The hormones magnified those emotions ten fold.  I had to fight back any cravings I had for sweets, croutons, or other snacky foods.

Food wasn't the only thing those dreaded hormones affected.  They drudged up emotions that could cause me to go way off track. So you're wanting to know what I did.  Well......

Early on I handled it pretty well.  I was losing just about every week so I didn't really think of them as a problem.  But as I inched closer to my goal and the weight seemed to slow down, hormonal days became too frequent and more difficult to handle.   During those weeks, I chose not to go out because any little thing (missed smile, look, or gesture from a guy) was magnified.  Which would cause me to eat those chocolate chips, croutons, etc.

So how do I handle them now? It's a learning process.  My hormones take over and I eat things shouldn't  But I stop and think how far I have come.  Gaining 8 lbs. is not much when I look at the big picture of losing 202 lbs.  I have continued and will continue to walk, sometimes double digits. That's part of my fight mode.  Activity helps with those hormonal days.

Then there's the hunger hormone. It sneaks up on you and before you know it instead of making healthy choices, you drive straight through the line at McDonald's or Chick Fil A.  I know the feeling....while my car hasn't randomly driven in the parking lot of Burger King, I go to the store and pick up things I know are bad for me.  What will it take for me to get back in fight mode?  Conquer that hunger hormone?

Right now, I have an amazing guy in my life and things are good.  He knows I am on Weight Watchers and he eats fairly healthy...... just need to handle his craving for sweets.   I fear I have become complacent and comfortable with this part of my life.  As my friend says, I have worked so very hard for this and I deserve this happiness I am experiencing.   So what if I have to be in fight mode a little while longer to get back to a place where I am happy?

Hormones.  Ugh!  As women not only do we struggle with female hormone, we deal with stress and hunger hormones.  They can be nasty little devils.  But we are strong and will not let them get to us while on this weight loss journey.

Don't forget to follow my blog by signing up with your email.

Christina

Rarely a bridesmaid, Never a bride....so where's the trigger

***So I had thought about changing the subject of this post.  I met and a great guy this past weekend. Only hope it's the beginning of a wonderful adventure.  But I got to thinking the post could still apply.  So I'm leaving it as is.  Who knows?  I could be at this spot all over again in a blink of an eye.....which appears could be today.*****

An invitation arrives in the mail.  Ugh! Another wedding.  So you show up at the reception, toast the newlyweds while scoping the guests for a potential candidate.  I've done it.

Or the person on the scale next to yours loses those 4, 5, or 6 lbs that you were supposed to lose  You worked just as hard right?  

I can count on one hand the times I've been part of a wedding.  I can count on one hand how many times I've been the front runner from a job interview.  I would still have fingers left to count how many times I've been the object of someone's pursuit or interest.  And although I met someone great this past weekend, the trigger is always at the ready.

For me, finding out the job I wanted went to someone else, the guy I was truly interested in likes someone else, or hell when my emotions get the best of me, I still turn to food.  Yes, even after losing the weight I have, food is a trigger.

Deep down there is still part of me that reaches for or makes a bad choice when something doesn't go the way I think it should.  Learning how to handle and process these emotions is ever ongoing.  I texted a friend not too long ago about a trigger food.  She asked what is a trigger food.  I explained to her they are foods that I will eat when I experience certain emotions.

We all have them.  No sense in denying it.  Foods that when certain emotions rear their ugly heads stand front and center.  For me the BIGGEST thing that can make my finger on the trigger shake is putting myself out in the "real world."  Meeting new people, especially men.  Because this social experiment we call dating is still new to me, when the signs aren't there or the signals aren't what they're supposed to be,  I can regress and want to crawl in a bunker.

I have seen several posts about women like being chased.  Chased? What is that?  Oh, that is when a boy pursues a girl whom he likes.  Yeah, I've never experienced that.  I don't get the guys tripping over themselves to ask me out nor text me.  (Please remember to just nod and say okay)

Nor do I get every company I interview with leaving messages on my phone wanting me immediately.  I have to realize those things do not happen to me.  Several months ago I submitted my success story to Weight Watchers.  Although it was nice that my leader encouraged me to do so, I knew I wouldn't get selected.  I try to hope for the best but always expect the reality.

Although I don't call on Papa Johns for a large pizza or grab a pint of Blue Bell in a popular flavor, I still reach for those foods that are not good choices.  I reach for bags of Chex Mix (Turtle is my favorite mixed with the dark chocolate) or cookie dough.  They soothe.  Once that trigger is pulled it takes me a while to get over the impact.

There is a girl in this singles group I am TRYING to invade who told a few guys the other night that I am a rare unicorn.  I'm not sure what that means, although I know it is something good.  I wish employers and men would see that and want to get to know me.  What makes me a rare unicorn.

While I was losing the 202 lbs., I was careful to keep my hand off the trigger.  So what is it hard now that I am Lifetime?  It was so easy when all I focused on was losing the weight.  Maybe I just answered my own question.  But at the same time, I yearn for that great job, someone special in my life, and to be able to do those fun things.

Whether it's a large trigger or a small one, they will always be there.  People can tell you how to handle it, but you may not follow the advice exactly.   I want a day, a week, a year, when I can toss the trigger(s) in the water and watch it/them sink to the bottom.   I'm anxiously awaiting that day.

Christina

The comforts of home.

It is scheduled.....your vacation.  Excitement sets in because you're visiting a place you've never been to before.  Excited about having new adventures, etc.  Then you see it......the phrase you've been waiting for......all the comforts of home.  Whether it be the treadmill, the fluffy pillows or plenty of bottled water.  

Or the smell of your favorite comfort food.  Your mouth waters at the thought of meatloaf, mac and cheese, or that platter of fried chicken.  Then you remember what you've worked so hard to achieve and wouldn't want to ruin all that hard work.  

I stepped up with my big girl panties on and went ahead and weighed on Sunday.  Not as bad as I thought.  The last two weeks have had their shares of stressful moments.  And I seemed to want was comfort food....or what I now called comfort food.  

Those things I call comfort now are my running shoes, being able to walk, and apples.  But I also find (sometimes) the inside of my house very comfortable.  I tend to be the "all or nothing" type person and when those things I've wanted or waited for so long don't happen, the the thought of cozying up on my couch is the best thing.

I was added to a singles group via facebook.  It's quite entertaining and it takes over my entire feed, which is good I suppose this week with all the Valentine (yuk!) posts.  It has prompted me to step outside my comfort zone to do things.  The other night I went to an event and I was so out of my comfort zone it felt like outer space.  I suppose it's because I didn't have an escape plan.  And the night before that I was in the same area of my comfort zone but just outside a little bit.  Got my behind slapped and hoisted off the ground.

That's what this new life of mine is all about.....leaving my comfort zone and doing things I normally wouldn't do.  But when I am so far removed from it that I start having panic attacks, I can't seem to get inside fast enough.  I remember the first time I walked into Victoria Secret.  I remember thinking, why am I in here?  And look now, I can't stay out of it.  Maybe because my zone is within eye range.

I could choose to attend events within a certain mileage radius.  But then I would only see what was within that 30 miles.  I wouldn't get to experience anything outside that 30 miles.   No, I'm not going to stay within that 30 miles.  But when I leave the zone, I will have an escape route.

All the comforts of home.  Wouldn't it be nice if those things we choose to do that are outside our comfort zone weren't so far out after all?  It'd be nice if all the restaurants had Weight Watcher Smart Points on their menus.  Sometimes we need those comforts of home to make us feel safer.  I think if we are able to still have those favorite things with us when we leave the zone, we are able to enjoy this new experience better.

The theme this week is Who Do You Inspire?  I was thinking about this.  This may sound corny or selfish, but I inspire myself.  I inspire myself to continue this healthy journey and learning to leave the zone and enjoy new experiences.  Meet new people.

 Y'all have a great week!   Yes, Happy Heart Day.......just because y'all are cuties.

Christina