So I weighed in on Sunday (skipped last week since it was Easter) and lost 1.4 lbs. I was hoping to lose a little more to get back to Onderland; but that just means my arrival in Onderland will be next week. I've been missing Onderland so much. Not sure if something in Twoterville was beckoning me to visit, but I'm ready to go back home.
For some reason, an Alabama song was in my head. So was a Foreigner song so I don't know what was going on.
I have lost the last few weeks straight.....I think. I think it's because I went back to the beginning...or am trying to get there. I returned to my Sunday meetings and taking salads to work. And it feels right. I veered off the main path and thought I'd like a change. Well, if anyone knows me well enough, they know I do not like change. I worked hard to get to goal before the new Smart Points program, even though whether on maintenance or not, I'd have to learn to work it.
This is the first time I have actually cared to know how much I have lost/gained. I wasn't looking at my number - not because it's not supposed to be about the number but because I didn't want to see how shameful I was going to be at myself - and that wasn't good. I was in denial a little bit. If I didn't look at that number, I could still play it off as being somewhat close to my number. I couldn't seem to get out of the rut I was in. And the rut got bigger and bigger. I knew if I didn't do something I would soon lose control and land somewhere I didn't want to be.
So after my last relationship ended (hop over to my dating page to read more) I decided I had the time to focus on me again. Put myself first. Some mornings I would only walk half of what I normally did (5 miles) just so I could come in early to work. I asked myself why? I have always been told the work would still be here. It has taken me a looong time to realize that. It took a sit down with my supervising attorney for me to see that and to realize I'm a type A personality. Me? I never thought I was but apparently I am when it comes to my job. So I walk my entire 5 miles (or until I get to my step goal for the day) and then I do a 10 minute circuit work out. I am tracking again, even though I have to do it on the computer since I don't have the app, and sometimes it's hard to remember. I've started prepping salads again. It feels like the first time around when the weight was coming off. I'm getting back to eating healthy.
I mentioned to my friend (and soul sister) that when I didn't eat the chocolate and snacky stuff, I feel much better. Yet when I was in the rut, I would eat things I knew better. I would have the chocolate, the pizza and not track it. Looking at the points I have thinking, I have my weeklies and fit points left. When in reality, I probably was going through my weeklies on Sunday. I wasn't being honest with myself.
I am committed to getting the weight of 2 boyfriends off and keeping it off. I am focused on once I get to my happy number to learning how to maintain it. Once I get back to that number, it will NEVER go back on. I am committed to making sure of that. Boyfriends come and go, but I will always be on this journey. They can be passengers, but I am in the drivers seat. And now that I am on the main path again, it feels so right, kind of like the first time.
I know I have now put Alabama and Foreigner in your heads! Just roll with it! And remember, have fun with this journey...add glitter all the weigh!
Christina
This is the first time I have actually cared to know how much I have lost/gained. I wasn't looking at my number - not because it's not supposed to be about the number but because I didn't want to see how shameful I was going to be at myself - and that wasn't good. I was in denial a little bit. If I didn't look at that number, I could still play it off as being somewhat close to my number. I couldn't seem to get out of the rut I was in. And the rut got bigger and bigger. I knew if I didn't do something I would soon lose control and land somewhere I didn't want to be.
So after my last relationship ended (hop over to my dating page to read more) I decided I had the time to focus on me again. Put myself first. Some mornings I would only walk half of what I normally did (5 miles) just so I could come in early to work. I asked myself why? I have always been told the work would still be here. It has taken me a looong time to realize that. It took a sit down with my supervising attorney for me to see that and to realize I'm a type A personality. Me? I never thought I was but apparently I am when it comes to my job. So I walk my entire 5 miles (or until I get to my step goal for the day) and then I do a 10 minute circuit work out. I am tracking again, even though I have to do it on the computer since I don't have the app, and sometimes it's hard to remember. I've started prepping salads again. It feels like the first time around when the weight was coming off. I'm getting back to eating healthy.
I mentioned to my friend (and soul sister) that when I didn't eat the chocolate and snacky stuff, I feel much better. Yet when I was in the rut, I would eat things I knew better. I would have the chocolate, the pizza and not track it. Looking at the points I have thinking, I have my weeklies and fit points left. When in reality, I probably was going through my weeklies on Sunday. I wasn't being honest with myself.
I am committed to getting the weight of 2 boyfriends off and keeping it off. I am focused on once I get to my happy number to learning how to maintain it. Once I get back to that number, it will NEVER go back on. I am committed to making sure of that. Boyfriends come and go, but I will always be on this journey. They can be passengers, but I am in the drivers seat. And now that I am on the main path again, it feels so right, kind of like the first time.
I know I have now put Alabama and Foreigner in your heads! Just roll with it! And remember, have fun with this journey...add glitter all the weigh!
Christina
No comments:
Post a Comment