Same product........just different look and packaging

Your favorite product.........you almost pass it up when searching for it on the shelf.  Then there it is, staring you right in the face just in different packaging.  The color is different and maybe so is the branding.  A sigh of relief escapes your mouth........ahhh, it's still there. Same product, just dressed a little nicer. 

On Sunday, I reached Lifetime status!  I've always said it's been a whirlwind of a journey.  A total of 202 pounds gone! There were times I wanted to stop the train at mile 98 and just go home.  But with my tremendous and awesome support network that I built, they helped me realize that wasn't an option.  The learning is not over.  The task to enjoy this new body of mine is at hand.  A good friend posted this on my facebook wall this morning:  "My wish for you is that you enjoy the new body you have and let go of any anxiety (if it has bothered you at all), your past is just that - your past.  And it doesn't define you AT ALL!! "

Let go of any anxiety!  Uh huh I can see that happening.  But this school friend who once wore the War Eagle cheerleader uniform and told me at our 20 year high school reunion that I've always been pretty is right.  Some say to let go is the easy part and it's the going forward that's painful.  I think for me trying to let go of that anxiety will be the challenging part.  That anxiety over what to eat when on a date or out with friends.   This friend who has the cheerful attitude of a cheer leader (the lift you up and is there to cheer you on type attitude) is right....my past is my past.  I can't dwell on it.  The person I was for the last 20 years does NOT define me.  She no longer exists. The real me was hidden underneath layers and layers of insecurity (which I still have hints of), low self esteem and worthlessness.  Hidden for 20 years.....

All of that has been replaced with smiles (most of the time), rising self-esteem, and knowing that I am cute as a button (as one man put it...not to be heard from again - ha ha) or even beautiful!  It all comes in a different package.

A couple of months ago in a Weight Watcher meeting, there were some new members.  My name was brought up and so was my story and the weight I have lost.  These new members (and some current) wanted to see a before and after/current picture of me.  It just so happened I had one on my phone.  As my pink phone was passed around the room, I saw some look at the phone then at me. Phone, then me.  Their eyes widened.  I heard some whisper she's a different person and she doesn't even look the same.  Well, I hope I don't look the same......

My leader pointed out that I was the same lovely person on the inside, the packaging had changed. I look at the packaging a lot lately.  The packaging has gotten smaller but my mind, one that was with the 375 pound person tries to squeeze into this small package.  I still have the same feelings, emotions, doubts, and insecurities as the bigger me did.  They all try to pile into a smaller me.  

The way I approach food and activity is different now, but the other part of my mind is not.  I have received the key to Lifetime but to me the battle is half won.  I will continue to journal what I eat.  I will continue to make healthy choices.   However I will add a few mix-ins.....the occasional happy hour with a glass of wine (or maybe two). A girls' night out....but it will include dancing.  A girls' trip.  A meal out every now and then..........maybe even with a dessert.  I will also mix in the living part.  The letting go part.  All as a transition to enjoying the new and improved packaging!

Christina