I try therefore I am

It seems I have become emersed in a community of people that enjoy testing the limits of what they can do.  They push themselves every day and make the most of their dash.  They are marathoners, Ironmen, and champions.  Lately I've found myself motivated and inspired by them.  They have crossed the famous finish line with the unicorn at Boylston Street and reached the red carpet finish line.  

Every year, where I live becomes the center of one of the biggest races.  Athletes come from all over to compete, to test their limits, make their dream come true.  Swim 2.4 miles.  112 bike course and then an entire marathon.  Reach the red carpet and become an Ironman.  

I am training for my next secret project and adventure.  To dip my toes in the water of the sport or multisport you could say.  Not sure how I'll fare, but I'm willing to give it a try. 

Last week I was more a spectator than a participant.  Wanting to soak up all the motivation and inspiration I could.  I'm still chasing her.  The vibe she has.  I want her paces again and her undying enthusiasm to try anything.  My mind has no shortage of being enthusiastic and wanting to do hard things.   But what it overflows with enthusiasm, it lacks in motivation and sometimes confidence.  

The fact I lost 202 lbs. should be motivation enough.  Not to go back to the beginning.  And it is.  But there are days I need that extra push.  The adage of "if she can do it so can I."  

As I watched these first timers enthusiastically run towards the table to pick up the important info needed for race day, I couldn't help but imagine myself being on the other side of the table one day.   I chatted with a woman who was so excited to be doing this race, she couldn't stop smiling.  The questions that formed in my head to ask those that were doing this for the 13th, 20th, or 100th time overflowed.   

They were making the most of the dash - between those two dates that we all have.  Even those I knew that made their way to Boston to run that marathon were crossing something off their bucket list.  

Several years ago, I wasn't one to jump in and volunteer.  As part of making the most of my dash, I volunteered at our local marathon and met people I had been following on Instagram.  You would have thought we had been friends from the start.  I felt proud to hang the medal they were running for around their neck.   I still say there is no better place than the finish line. 

So on a picture perfect Saturday afternoon, I stood poised at the famous red carpet finish line, water in hand, ready to catch that tired athlete.   The roar of the crowd, cheers, noisemakers, added to the excitement.   I looked down on the athletes still making their way through the marathon and would later read of the tough and dark times they encountered.  But also the angels that just happened to appear along side of them.  That's the beautiful thing.  There will be people, strangers and friends, who will encourage you along the way.  It's happened to me.  When I think it'd be easy to just stop, there's always someone nudging me and telling me I can do this.  

There was a time I wasn't interested in the sport.  But that all changed when I started losing weight and participated in my first half marathon.  I tried, therefore I am.   One medal led to two, three, and you get the picture.   When I lack the motivation or inspiration, I watch prior race recap videos.   People with more serious obstacles are out there crossing things off their bucket list.  Living the most of their dash.  

As the night fell, it was as if the sun set and excitement exploded.   After many long hours, athletes were making their way home - sometimes 5 or 6 at a time!  I saw so many smiles, tears (no doubt from exhaustion and happiness), and looks of finality.  If that doesn't give one motivation and inspiration I'm not sure what does.   I've said before I run on emotion.  I cry every time I cross a finish line.   

My mind was in overdrive with thoughts of challenging myself.  To be honest I think part of me just wants to run through Hippie Hollow - because as one knows the rule, there is no walking through Hippie Hollow.   That psychedelic vibe can give you fuel to finish anything.  

I try  therefore I am.  There should be no fear of failure.  Only fear of not trying.    Something I should repeat to myself.  I will not make a PR at my next adventure, I may even finish last, but I'm out there trying.   

We all inspire people but even the ones that inspire need motivation and inspiration at times.   How are you inspiring?  How are you living the dash between those two dates?

Can't wait to join the rest of you on the magical finish lines in the future.    I'll be doing it with glitter all the weigh.

Choose Joy!

"Choose joy! Don't wait for things to get easier, simpler, better.  Life will always be complicated.  Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you will run out of time.  We can't often choose our circumstances, but we can better control our reactions and emotions.  Choose joy!" 

We're already halfway through March of 2022.  Things seem to be returning to a normality.   Races are returning live, even with post race parties!  There is one race I always sign up for and that's my local half marathon.  I've participated in it twice in person and once virtually.  I was excited about it.  I love the excitement, the energy, and activities on race day.   

I've been on the struggle bus lately.  Trying to find joy in running, even walking, again.  As last year ended and 2022 started, I fell into a slump.  Realizing my training wasn't going as I wanted or envisioned, I opted to downgrade to the 10k race.  I would still get to participate in race day and earn another medal.  

I've also had an issue with body image lately.  I am a forever work in progress.   I do remember where I've come from.  How far I've come.  And when it may seem I forget, I have people that remind me.   I want the smaller me from a few years ago. The smaller me that the new people in my circle haven't seen.  I'm always chasing the girl with the 13:30 mile.  I'm hoping she'll stop one day to tie her shoes so I can catch up.   Until then I'll conquer everything I can.  

The Woodlands Marathon is something I try to do annually.  It's like a celebration of what I'm capable of.  It's been six years since I reached my weight loss goal and earned my first half marathon medal.  After 15 races later, I still find crossing the finish line (no matter the distance) thrilling and exciting.  

The Woodlands Marathon 10k of 2022 was the 2nd race of the year for me.  I said once I'd like to do one race a month, ending up with 12 races for the year.   But with the unforgiving heat and humidity with Texas summers, plans will change.  I would love to do more destination races but not this year.  

I finished the race - a little longer than I predicted - but I crossed the finish line.   I run/walk on passion and determination.  But it was not optimal racing weather I was told.   Did I cross it with a smile?  Can't remember...I do know there were tears of exhaustion.   

I remember a time when I didn't care about races, medals, or crossing a finish line.  It all changed when I started to focus on staying healthy, exercise.  When I was able to knock out 10 miles and think nothing of it.  

This comfort zone of mine keeps getting smaller.  I know it's still there and there are times I gravitate towards it.   I have two more races before I take a break.  Both are to support a wonderful and special friend.  One will be my first triathlon.  Nervous?  You bet.  But, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  

My goal is always to finish with a smile and have fun.  I may have taken a few steps backward but I will find those steps forward again.  One of these days, my mind and body will finally be on the same page.  And when they are, they will Run with Glitter all the Weigh.  All while trying to get back to my happy number.  It's all about timing.

Have a great week!  Will you choose joy? 

Christina  💗

Don't be afraid to fail....Be afraid not to try

 

Happy New Year!  Okay, so I'm a bit late.  Like many of you, 2021 probably wasn't what I thought it would be.  And 2022 was somewhat ushered in quietly.  Okay, almost.  But I like to focus on the good things.  No major injuries!  There were a few graceful stumbles, some scraped knees and elbows.  

I started 2022 by running (woggling) a 5k on New Years Day to support a friend.  I, along with "thousands" of his friends, got up early after celebrating New Years to support him.  Calendar said January 1, 2022, but I think Mother Nature was confused. Weather felt more like an early spring morning - humidity in abundance.  

It wasn't a pretty race for me.  But I took it as a fun race and had a mimosa afterwards.  I'm in the midst of training for my next adventure - my 4th The Woodlands half marathon.   Some of the old me returned so I'm working hard to get rid of her.   

Recently I cheered on my fellow running family and friends in the Chevron Houston Marathon.  What a fabulous race!  What an awesome morning for it!  I witnessed two records made and was beyond inspired and motivated.   I listed on my New Years bucket list I wanted to try and do a race a month.  One month down, eleven more to go.  

I was so inspired and motivated by the Chevron race that I have already signed up for my first adventure of 2023.  Shhh!  Keep it under wraps for now.  

Let's time hop and take a look back at 2021.....

I ended 2021 completing 6 races, getting a PR or two, and wondering what other dream I can chase.  Did I enjoy it?  You betcha!  I went to my first out of town race for the RunDallas BMW 50th Anniversary marathon weekend.  That was so much fun!  Spent a weekend in early December with runner friends, ran across the finish line, and cheered other fellow runners who chose to go the distance.  My mind would like to put the Dallas race on my annual calendar.  Hmmm?

The road trip included not one, but two, stops at Buccees.  That is a dangerous store!  I'm late to the party when it comes to Beaver Nuggets but boy are they good!  Addicting. 

In October of 2021, I ran the streets of downtown Houston on Halloween. Ran the streets with a sidekick who said she'd do it with me. The box I clung to for so many years is slowly fading...although there are times I work my way back to it.  

I redeemed myself and finished a 10 mile race in November.  Words of encouragement and motivation are all around.  And I had a sidekick that stayed with me the entire time...nicely telling me I couldn't stop.  And when the finish line was in view, she gently nudged me and told me it was mine and to go ahead.   

There was a time when I couldn't fathom making it to any starting line.  Let alone crossing a finish line.  I enjoy cheering on other runners just as much as I look forward to seeing what my body is capable of.  Running across the finish line.  Or going the distance. 

I can't wait to see what 2022 has in store for me.  Not only with running, but everything!  You can bet I'll run with glitter all the weigh through 2022!

Remember to chase your dreams, because dreams can't chase you back.  

Christina  

"Every day during training, you were challenged with multiple physical events. Long runs, long swims, obstacle courses, hours of calisthenics, something designed to test your mettle. Finally, in SEAL training there is a bell - a brass bell that hangs in the compound for all the students to see. All you have to do to quit - all you have to do to quit - is ring the bell. Ring the bell, and you no longer have to wake up at five o'clock. Ring the bell, and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT, and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training. All you have to do to ring the bell to get out. "If you want to change the world, don't ever, ever ring the bell."

She believed she could, so she did

  "She believed she could, so she did."   

That's one of my favorite quotes.   I have a handful of them, including scriptures.  

It's been a few months since I've written anything.  I was thinking how this blog has transformed over the years, just like me.  It started out as a blog to chronicle my weight loss journey.   I delved into how losing 200 lbs. affected me mentally and the adjustments made.  

Things certainly weren't the same.  I actually liked being active.  I started running and had actually good times.  I remember the day when I told my running/walking buddy I wanted to do a half marathon.  She said she'd do it with me.  There was no turning back.  At that moment, I never fathomed I'd complete 13.1 miles in under 3 hours.  But I did and went on to complete 2 more.  

 I saw a quote the other day, "Start where you are.  Not where you want to be, not where you think you should be."  The words, "....not where you used to be" could be added as well.  There are days I think my mind sometimes expects me to be the age I am in my head.  

"The real reward isn't that you cross the finish line.  Instead, it's that you BECOME the person who can cross the finish line, and that kind of achievement stays with you for a lifetime." 

In 2016, I became that person to cross my own finish line.  After that, I felt invincible.  There wasn't anything I couldn't do.  As someone who used to weigh over 300 lbs., I never fathomed crossing a finish line....of anything.  Yet, in the last 5 years, I have crossed numerous finish lines.  I plan to cross them as long as my legs can carry me.  

As 2021 saw live races again, I was excited about crossing more finish lines.  With that said, I did my first virtual race - The Woodlands half marathon.   Timing wasn't perfect, but I finished just the same.  I was excited to be in my first 10 mile race.  I worked in the Texas summer heat and humidity for it.  

Not only is there the physical aspect of losing a drastic amount of weight, but there is the mental side.   The mental must be worked on as the weight is lost, otherwise, in your head lies the person you worked so hard to get rid of.   In the last year I had to deal with her.  She burrows down and starts whispering those negative thoughts.  That's what happened with the last race I entered.   Those thoughts plus some anxiety.   It was a rough day.  After I had one of those shoulda coulda woulda moments, kicking myself for making the decision I did, after some rest and reflection, I remembered how far I've come.   Just to want to enter another race and be at the start line.  

I was also reminded that a race is just a paragraph on a page of a chapter.  Doesn't make the chapter any less thrilling.  So it's time to write another paragraph.   He ended his message with "You are an overcomer and champion."  

Motivation is found in many different places.  I mentioned to one fellow runner one particular morning I encountered what I could only guess was someone who had too much to drink.  As I passed by them, I started running faster to make sure I was too far in front.  I joked and said maybe that needs to be my next strategy.  Pretend there's a drunk on the course and I need to get away.  I find motivation in all things.  I watched Ironman videos in the last weeks.  No, I'm not going to compete in an Ironman....I could see the wheels spinning in your heads.  But the stories of those participants are remarkable.  I have also watched videos of our local marathon.  Somehow imagining me running across the finish line.  

Now, I think to myself, if those people can overcome such odds as cancer, ALS, lost limbs, or autism, then there's no stopping me.  My motivation.....not returning to the person I was in 2013.  That's my motivation.   And those that support me with encouraging words, showing up at the finish lines and being my sidekick.  

I can't wait to see what finish lines I cross in the next year!  You can bet I'll do it with Glitter all the Weigh! 

Christina 

How did I get here?

"I am proud of the woman I am today; I went through one hell of a time to become her." 

I started this blog 6 years ago this month.  Hopefully, I have some new readers and/or followers so I thought I'd write about how this blog started and my story of how I got here.   Get comfy, grab a cup of coffee, and the iPad.  My first blog post was Just here to tell a story and published on May 21, 2015.   The idea was suggested by a lady in a Weight Watcher meeting.   I didn't know the first thing about writing a blog.  But I came up with a name (I think it suits me since I like anything sparkly and shiny).  The idea of this blog was to chronicle this personal journey of mine.    

When I started the blog, I was already down 165 lbs.  I lost that weight in just over a year.  Something I couldn't quite fathom or comprehend.  Just a year earlier I had no idea what was in store for me.  It took a serious aha moment to make me sit up and realize this was serious business.  For the better part of my adult life, I used food as a shield, not wanting to admit it was also the problem.  I used it as a shield from so many things.... dating, rejection, social activities.  It became a security blanket.  It never judged me or rejected me.  

I ushered 2014 in with some low back pain, thinking it was a pulled muscle.  Then March arrived and told me things were about to change.   A trip to the ER was the beginning of a 6-day hospital stay.  Diabetic sugars of 534 which could have proved to be deadly.  There have been moments when I think if I hadn't gone to the ER when I did, I would not be here telling you this story.  

The next few months were spent adjusting to a new ballgame and its rules.  Soon it became easy, and the weight started dropping.  Every time I stepped on the scale; numbers went down.  I hit the first 50, then 100, then 150 lbs.  I couldn't believe it.  This was what I had dreamt about.  When I stepped on the scale shortly before my 44th birthday, I was down 165 lbs.  I had a decision to make.  The decision of what my goal would be.  So, after discussing it with my doctor, I set what I thought was my final goal.  I reached that goal on Father's Day of 2016.  I remember stepping on the scale, feeling tears streaming down my face.  I did it!

There were other surprises in store though.  Good surprises.  I started walking half marathons every day, yes which prompted me to enter my first official half marathon.  So, on the day I was to reach Lifetime, I stepped on the scale and had another decision to make.  I reset what I thought had been my final goal.   This final goal would have me losing 200 lbs.  My thinking behind this was I wanted to be far enough from my starting number that I couldn't see it.  

I reached that goal just six months after reaching the first one.  And it was in December before Christmas.  What an early Christmas present!!  In January of 2016, I reached Lifetime.  The day before weighing in, I walked about 5-6 miles with a friend of mine.  We discussed stepping on the scale and what if the number was too low.  I decided to step on the scale first (before it was registered) and if it was too low, I’d wear my shoes.  That did the trick.  I weighed in at a number I hadn’t seen since high school. 

My life has been a whirlwind since then.  I've learned things about myself.  I've conquered several things I never thought I would do.  Finished 3 half marathons and several other races.  Conquered paddle board yoga - read about it here. There have been ups and downs, as with everything, but I try to take them in stride.  

Among some of the important things I learned was the mental aspect must be worked on as well.  While I was actively losing the weight, I concentrated on the physical part and neglected the mental side.  Because of that, that little voice kept showing back up.  The voice that belonged to the old me.  So, I am working on the mental side and making sure it’s on the same page as the physical.

I am excited about the next 50 years.  I have plans that just 10 or 15 years ago I couldn’t imagine.  

Looking forward to the next 50 years....of course they will be glitter all the weigh. 

"Nothing changes except what has to..."

Before you get comfy and start reading, you may have noticed a change in the blog title.  I think it adds a sporty touch to it.  I am still about being a healthier me and losing some unwanted pounds, but as you read, my mindset is shifting.  

If there's one thing to be known about me, it's I do not like change.  Let me correct.... there are some changes I am okay with.  But mostly, change scares me.  

I'm okay if I make the change (what I eat, change up in activity, etc.).  But it's the change of the unknown that makes me have the heebie-jeebies.  

In recent months, I've hit a stall, a plateau if you will.  My focus blurred.  Comfortability with food set in.  The little voice I tried to muffle is back trying to be the voice of reason.  Well, that must stop.    How do you handle that little voice?  

So, in an effort to get my focus clear again, I started with some evaluating of the journey I've taken these last 7-8 years. (before you tell me that what I am about to say is right, the fact remains I will always have some struggle.)  My focus has been to lead a healthier lifestyle and working on getting my lifetime goal weight back.   

There has been a shift.  Mindset shift.  Oh, I still want to lose these unwanted friends that found their way back.  Getting back to the happy number.  I know I can get there.  I still need accountability, but I wonder if I've learned all I can from Weight Watchers.  

The shift is fueling my body properly for the things I have planned for it.  Realizing my body is capable of so much more and telling my mind I can do whatever I set it to do.  (I used to have that confidence but lost it somewhere along the way) 

I turn the Big 50 in a few weeks.  It's another somewhat big milestone.  What do I want for myself in the next 50 years?  Hmmm.  I want so many things.  I want to make sure I honor my body by eating healthy.  I want to continue running and entering races.  On the personal side...well, that's for another blog/post. 

Recently, I attended and watched my first triathlon.  I cheered on some runner friends that were there to cross a triathlon off their bucket list.  They gave 110% to swim in somewhat rough waters, hurriedly climb on a bike to trek around town, then finish with a 5k/10k run.  I watched as these athletes emerged from the water to climb on the bikes, then complete a run to the finish.  It's hard not to be inspired or motivated. There were people of every size and shape accomplishing something really big.  I get inspired and motivated every time I watch a race.  I have this fear of looking stupid when I go on a run. (Maybe that's why I run while everyone is sleeping). But I pile the hair on my head and strike out to run my best.  Because at the finish line or after a long run, there are the cheers, woo hoos, and pats on the back.

I recently started on a different journey of mine.  A bit of a secret project.  Something I used to do but fell out of practice.  Thought if I wanted to be serious and conquer some big goals, I would need a little help.  I'm excited and nervous at the same time.  Stick with me and watch me shine! 

I doubt the 25, 35, or even 45-year-old me thought this is what I'd be doing when I turn 50.  This excites me.  That and having not 1, but 3 bikinis in my drawer to wear this summer!  

Remember when you run, do it with glitter all the weigh! 

 

What comfort zone?!

"The miracle isn't that I finished.  

The miracle is that I had the courage to start." 

It's the time of year when men and women take to the streets to run their hearts out.  Some to set PRs (personal records), some to qualify for Boston Marathon, and others to just cross something off their bucket list.   It's time I set my eyes on a bigger mountain.  

I remember my first half marathon in March of 2016.  I made lifetime in January reaching my goal weight and losing 202 lbs.  I was already walking 10+ miles a day so was conditioned to run/walk the 13.1 miles.  Not sure what spurred me to sign up for the race.  My devoted running/walking buddy said she'd do it with me so I thought, why not?  It was AMAZING!  From the spectators, fellow runners, and the finish line, of course.  At mile 9 I remember crying professing my exhaustion.  My friend reminded me that I could do the last 4 miles in my sleep.  We were running intervals to reserve our energy to run across the elusive finish line.   As we approached the last turn and heard the crowds and announcer, I couldn't believe it.  I was going to finish my first half marathon.  We sprinted across it, our finish time just under 3 hours.  

There is something empowering, thrilling and indescribable running across the finish line, receiving a medal of a job well done.  Bananas were gone, but I didn't care.  I accomplished something that I NEVER thought or imagined doing.  From weighing 375 lbs., losing 202 of them, to finishing 13.1 miles.  Yep, empowering and indescribable.

In 2018, I decided to enter The Woodlands Half Marathon again.  This time, I had more training to do.  Gone were the 10 mile days.  Another friend said she'd do it with me.  Her first, my second.   To congregate among runners (both seasoned and new) was still exciting.  Our finish time was a little over 3 hours (due to me waiting on my friend...I was not about to let her finish alone).  Tears filled my eyes along the course as strangers shouted my name with encouragement.  And as I approached the finish line, more friends held signs with pink glitter praising a job well done.  

I recount this because they are experiences I will not forget.  Three years passed before I signed up again.  I volunteered at the 2020 The Woodlands Marathon.  There is something motivating and inspiring about being at the finish line.  So when registration for 2021 opened I immediately signed up for my 3rd half marathon, not realizing what the year held.  Due to the events of the year, and my anxiety, I decided to go virtual for this one.  On my own time, my own course.  I have not been in the best shape and feared I wouldn't finish in time.  Fearing I would have to do it alone, I prepared myself.  Thirteen miles of self reflection.  But I had a friend do it with me and she made sure I finished.  Receiving the medal in the mail was just as rewarding.  This time even more so.  Three half marathons under my belt.  

I also joined a running club. I didn't know the first thing about joining a running club but I was following someone on Instagram who encouraged me to join.  I joined during the wildest of years.  Races in 2020 were canceled.  But things are slowly returning.  Recently I embarked on a secret project if you will.  Working to strengthen what I already have.  To go beyond what I do.  I can no longer see my comfort zone.  And I like it.   I can only imagine what's in store for me.  My mind seems to be shifting more towards staying/being healthier, leaner, in better shape.  Don't get me wrong, I still care about the number on the scale.  Maybe not just as much.  

"I didn't come this far to only come this far.  I came this far so I could be strong enough to go further!  I would be good enough to push myself harder!  I'm only getting started...

This is just the beginning."