I start the week ever closer to ending another chapter in my life. I wasn't optimistic about getting on the scale this morning but glad I did. I am just 11 lbs from losing an astounding 200 lbs. I can't believe it.....200 lbs.!!!
I never anticipated my life taking the path that it has. I have conquered more fears and things I never thought about doing. I am constantly in awe of how many people say I inspire and motivate them. I walk the 10+ miles every day because once I started, I found out I like the walking. I feel awesome that I am able to do it and great after I walk those miles. I stay away from fast food because it is a trigger for me. Same goes for cookies and chips (especially those served at Papasitos!). While I love, love, love you following my blog and my weight loss, I've left out one thing. Results can vary. Yes, the weight has come off somewhat quicker than normal, but I think my insulin injections contributed to that. I am no longer on insulin. I walk 10+ miles a day because like I said, once I started, I realized I love it. I blame the fitbit challenges for that. Ha! And some of it may be in head. So, with all of that out of the way.......
As women, we tend to over analyze EVERYTHING. The smallest of things become bigger than life, causing us to stress over them needlessly. Someone might say it's all in our heads.
I never anticipated my life taking the path that it has. I have conquered more fears and things I never thought about doing. I am constantly in awe of how many people say I inspire and motivate them. I walk the 10+ miles every day because once I started, I found out I like the walking. I feel awesome that I am able to do it and great after I walk those miles. I stay away from fast food because it is a trigger for me. Same goes for cookies and chips (especially those served at Papasitos!). While I love, love, love you following my blog and my weight loss, I've left out one thing. Results can vary. Yes, the weight has come off somewhat quicker than normal, but I think my insulin injections contributed to that. I am no longer on insulin. I walk 10+ miles a day because like I said, once I started, I realized I love it. I blame the fitbit challenges for that. Ha! And some of it may be in head. So, with all of that out of the way.......
As women, we tend to over analyze EVERYTHING. The smallest of things become bigger than life, causing us to stress over them needlessly. Someone might say it's all in our heads.
I used to tell myself that men didn't approach me because my chest wasn't bigger or I wasn't as thin as the next person. Friends told me that was my perception.
On that day when I was discharged from the hospital, I went home with more information about diabetes than I cared to. My head was overwhelmed with eat this, eat that, no not that. I would have to use a blueprint to make my plate at every meal. Pair that with Weight Watchers and my blond brain was on overload. I think I felt like I couldn't handle it. It was just too much. And you might say that feeling was all in my head.
I was learning how to inject myself with insulin as well as what foods were diabetic friendly. No full size baked potato for me; instead, it was suggested I eat smaller potatoes. And if I had a starchy vegetable such as corn or rice, I couldn't have bread with dinner. Having grapes meant having only 17 of them. I could eat a banana, but only half. It was a ballgame with many rules. Toss in Weight Watchers and my head contained a lot of information. If I was going to be successful I would have to commit to tracking what I put in my mouth. I eventually had numbers in my head of how many points were in a 1/2 cup of corn or rice.
Before my journey began on Weight Watchers and diabetes, when I would settle in for an evening of pizza, enough popcorn for an army, and perhaps a cookie, I would tell myself I had a rough day or I'd start seriously come Monday. Having to buy clothes at just one store was because fashion designers were making clothes smaller. That's what I would tell myself.
I knew I had to lose weight in order to be healthier and live longer. Lose weight to get the diabetes under control. I was so wrapped up in balancing my diabetes and Weight Watchers and mainly watching what I was eating, I didn't realize what was going on in my head. People started to notice a change in me after I lost 100 pounds. I was liking this start of a transformation.
I knew I had to lose weight in order to be healthier and live longer. Lose weight to get the diabetes under control. I was so wrapped up in balancing my diabetes and Weight Watchers and mainly watching what I was eating, I didn't realize what was going on in my head. People started to notice a change in me after I lost 100 pounds. I was liking this start of a transformation.
Over the next months, I concentrated on watching what I ate and being accountable as well. I watched the weight start to come off. I increased my activity, doing some things for the first time. But, even though the weight came off, in my head I still saw myself as the old me. Before I embarked on this journey, I always just assumed that once I lost weight everything would be right with the world. I would get called back for that interview the heavier me missed. Once I lost weight, I would no longer have just one store to shop in.
I am now a year and half into this journey of mine. That might be the equivalent of someone traveling the world, I don't know. After losing 189 pounds, I have learned that it's all in my head. I am now at the point where the mental work really begins. I suppose I've been in denial about the entire transformation.
This is a very personal journey for me. I am learning the person I'm evolving to be is probably who I was meant to be. Everything is not right with the world even after losing close to 200 pounds. I am not talking about the physical aspects........you know - the reality of being able to wear any clothes, the fact that I am now wearing a bra size I haven't seen since my teen years, or that none of my rings fit, not even the beautiful one my grandmother used to wear. At the age of 44, not quite halfway to 45, I am finally learning to live my life!
I am learning how to handle those people that can't quite adjust to the ongoing changes. The other night while on my You Tube page, in their recommendations for me was a Victoria Secret fashion show video. Not sure why it showed up but I remember thinking years ago if I lost weight I could look like one of their models. My body would magically transform itself into a model figure. Wrong! All in my head.
In the beginning there is the focus on changing over to healthy eating habits and the commitment to losing weight. There is the enjoyment when numbers go down on the scale and in sizes with clothes. At what point does the mental work begin is usually up to the person. Some people can handle the mental part along with losing the weight and changing their mindset. Some, like me, it comes towards the end. I now have different information and visions in my head. I don't have to look like a Victoria Secret model to wear their clothes. Nor do I have to look like one, if by chance, if I am given the opportunity to wear some wings! Ha! I am wearing sizes I had dreamed of wearing.
At the same time, those prior food triggers are still in my head as well as my fears. I have to use my new found control to keep them far away. So I am ever evolving and no doubt it's still all in my head.
I am now a year and half into this journey of mine. That might be the equivalent of someone traveling the world, I don't know. After losing 189 pounds, I have learned that it's all in my head. I am now at the point where the mental work really begins. I suppose I've been in denial about the entire transformation.
This is a very personal journey for me. I am learning the person I'm evolving to be is probably who I was meant to be. Everything is not right with the world even after losing close to 200 pounds. I am not talking about the physical aspects........you know - the reality of being able to wear any clothes, the fact that I am now wearing a bra size I haven't seen since my teen years, or that none of my rings fit, not even the beautiful one my grandmother used to wear. At the age of 44, not quite halfway to 45, I am finally learning to live my life!
I am learning how to handle those people that can't quite adjust to the ongoing changes. The other night while on my You Tube page, in their recommendations for me was a Victoria Secret fashion show video. Not sure why it showed up but I remember thinking years ago if I lost weight I could look like one of their models. My body would magically transform itself into a model figure. Wrong! All in my head.
In the beginning there is the focus on changing over to healthy eating habits and the commitment to losing weight. There is the enjoyment when numbers go down on the scale and in sizes with clothes. At what point does the mental work begin is usually up to the person. Some people can handle the mental part along with losing the weight and changing their mindset. Some, like me, it comes towards the end. I now have different information and visions in my head. I don't have to look like a Victoria Secret model to wear their clothes. Nor do I have to look like one, if by chance, if I am given the opportunity to wear some wings! Ha! I am wearing sizes I had dreamed of wearing.
At the same time, those prior food triggers are still in my head as well as my fears. I have to use my new found control to keep them far away. So I am ever evolving and no doubt it's still all in my head.
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