"Fear: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise"
Boo! It's Halloween this weekend and I guess you could say the start of the holiday season. For people trying to lose weight, this time can be more stressful than a day at the office. Spooks, witches, and fears may be the main characters for Halloween, but for some, fears show up every day
After a week without yoga, I was glad to go to class this week. The teacher even worked the Halloween holiday into our practice. There were some spooky poses such as "flying witch" and "hanging tree." And we must not forget "Demon" down dog!
I started thinking of my fears. Yes, even I have fears. And they are very real. I have a fear of thunderstorms. Not the mild ones during the day that come and go but the severe ones during the night. You don't know what's happening because it's already dark. Along the same lines, there's the fear of a tornado taking the roof off my house. I'll be the one that the news helicopter zooms in on while I'm hiding in the bathtub!
Although this is quite morbid to think about, I have a fear that when I leave this earthly place, I will not have known love and there won't be anyone at my funeral. I've been to funerals where the sanctuary is packed and I've been to some where just a handful of people show up to pay their respects. I'd like something in between. My main fear, though, is I won't have known love and had someone in my life that I was their everything.
Recently, though, I have new fears. And I suppose it comes along with losing weight....any amount really. Fear of gaining it back......any of it back. I fear that I'll wake up one morning and it's all been a dream. Guess that's why I haven't really allowed myself to take time for the big OMG moment. That's a fear every day, not just on Halloween. I know I should be able to have, for example, a Chick-Fi-La sandwich. But, for me, it's just not a sandwich. My fear is that I have a sandwich, then I'll want the fries and so on. It is a real fear. That is why I choose to stay away from fast food.
Same goes for a cookie. As I am still learning how to handle temptation and my fears, having just ONE cookie is not an option for me right now. Just ONE cookie?! Really. The fear is that I will have that cookie and tell myself one more won't hurt. Then 2 becomes 3 and so on. It all adds to one big fear. That is that if I have fast food, something that was a staple in my life not so long ago, I will allow my former self to come back. I know I am much stronger than that, yet I am scared just the same. I might just fall to temptation.
The point when you choose to be done losing and then try to maintain it is scary to me. Maybe that's why I flew past my original goal and reset it. I am scared that when I enter maintenance, it will take me just as long to maintain that 2 lb. range either way as when I started. Or that a nudge will push me into losing more. At what point do I stop? My friends say I stop when I am happy with me. Oh, but only one knows just how highly competitive I am with myself. My fear is that I will fail at maintenance.
And lastly, I fear I won't know quite what to do with myself. What happens after maintenance and lifetime? I go out into the world! Do I continue my 12+ mile walking routine? Do I dress a little sexier? I have no idea what I am supposed to do with this new self.
It's Halloween! That means ghosts, witches, spooks, and fears. We all have fears. I would be surprised if yours show up only during Halloween and the months following. So, with your fears, do you forget everything you've learned and run or will you face them and rise? It will be time before I can face some of mine.....mainly the food related ones. But I am hoping I can face them and rise above them.
Although this is quite morbid to think about, I have a fear that when I leave this earthly place, I will not have known love and there won't be anyone at my funeral. I've been to funerals where the sanctuary is packed and I've been to some where just a handful of people show up to pay their respects. I'd like something in between. My main fear, though, is I won't have known love and had someone in my life that I was their everything.
Recently, though, I have new fears. And I suppose it comes along with losing weight....any amount really. Fear of gaining it back......any of it back. I fear that I'll wake up one morning and it's all been a dream. Guess that's why I haven't really allowed myself to take time for the big OMG moment. That's a fear every day, not just on Halloween. I know I should be able to have, for example, a Chick-Fi-La sandwich. But, for me, it's just not a sandwich. My fear is that I have a sandwich, then I'll want the fries and so on. It is a real fear. That is why I choose to stay away from fast food.
Same goes for a cookie. As I am still learning how to handle temptation and my fears, having just ONE cookie is not an option for me right now. Just ONE cookie?! Really. The fear is that I will have that cookie and tell myself one more won't hurt. Then 2 becomes 3 and so on. It all adds to one big fear. That is that if I have fast food, something that was a staple in my life not so long ago, I will allow my former self to come back. I know I am much stronger than that, yet I am scared just the same. I might just fall to temptation.
The point when you choose to be done losing and then try to maintain it is scary to me. Maybe that's why I flew past my original goal and reset it. I am scared that when I enter maintenance, it will take me just as long to maintain that 2 lb. range either way as when I started. Or that a nudge will push me into losing more. At what point do I stop? My friends say I stop when I am happy with me. Oh, but only one knows just how highly competitive I am with myself. My fear is that I will fail at maintenance.
And lastly, I fear I won't know quite what to do with myself. What happens after maintenance and lifetime? I go out into the world! Do I continue my 12+ mile walking routine? Do I dress a little sexier? I have no idea what I am supposed to do with this new self.
It's Halloween! That means ghosts, witches, spooks, and fears. We all have fears. I would be surprised if yours show up only during Halloween and the months following. So, with your fears, do you forget everything you've learned and run or will you face them and rise? It will be time before I can face some of mine.....mainly the food related ones. But I am hoping I can face them and rise above them.
No comments:
Post a Comment