Did I tell you I had a party last week? Don't worry, your invite did not get lost in the mail. And it wasn't that you weren't invited....I like you too much. There were no party favors, no balloons or streamers. There was some party food..........milk chocolate and white chocolate chips and croutons. Not very festive. Thank goodness there wasn't any cake! By the time some of the fellow Weight Watchers texted me saying to throw away whatever was left, it was too late.
It was pretty bad for me last week. I let something (okay, a few things) get to me that in the scheme of things seem trivial but to me it made me realize the fear is very much alive. I started out the week just fine and had no plans of a party for one. But by mid-week the idea of a party was sounding really good. I felt defeated and like no matter how much I did or how hard I tried, I wasn't going to measure up. So I basically just gave up. I stopped tracking after Tuesday or Wednesday.....and if you don't track, therefore it doesn't count, right?! We know better. I quit both challenges last week not quite at the 11th hour but close. A girlfriend texted me about her adventures of online dating and while it was mainly about the undesirables messaging her, it went along with my week. Not that I'd want an undesirable messaging me either, but what's wrong with me that they won't? Week was so bad that I didn't show up for the Weight Watcher meeting. I shocked several people so that my phone had never seen so many texts.
My good WW friend asked me about quitting the challenges. She asked if I was happy when I quit. Not really. Was I relieved that I quit? That's a hard question. Yes and no. Relieved in the way that I didn't have this thing hanging over my head and that it wasn't visible how far behind I was. I promised her I wouldn't quit this week's challenge and I'll keep my word. I know what you're thinking and you'd be right. Now, what I am going to tell you may make you say "You have the control over that.," or "It should motivate you, not control you." I told this friend that if I stop the challenges, then there's a good chance I won't get up as early in the morning and get my 10,000 steps in before anything else. So then I"m just walking 3 mi in the morning and maybe some later in the afternoon. "You're letting it get to you." I can hear you say. I would rather think of it as motivation...just not the group of the high steppers. I need a week long vacation from that one.
So I have this neighbor across from me and we've hit it off. She cracks me up. Become really good friends........we both want the same thing - a nice, normal, guy. And although she's just 31, she seems wise for he age. She gives me good tactics for the single guys...........and the fitbit challenges as well. Ummm....if you thought I'd disclose some of those, you're wrong! So we had our porch time last night with a bottle of wine. I told her about my terrible week. She said the break or breakdown was apparently needed. She said everyone is entitled to a bad minute. A bad minute. Whether the bad minute lasts a day or a week, it's okay.
The party was over on Sunday. The croutons were gone as well as any chocolate chips. I wiped away any tears and got ready for this week. Ready to be tougher and stronger. Ready to surge forward and get back on track. Ready to kick any fears of eating like that again to the curb. It's okay if you want to have a party for one. Just know when to end the party.
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