Ladies and Gentlemen of Weight Watchers (and those that are not): Track (among other things)

Whether we are good at public speaking or not, I think there inside of us is one just jumping up and down wanting to give a speech.  A speech to share wisdom on life's obstacles and joys.  So, if you will, indulge me in this attempt at a speech about the joys and tribulations of a weight loss journey. 

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Track.  If there could only be one tip for the future of a weight loss journey, track would be it.  Of course, there are a host of others so that's why I said could.  The benefits of tracking and being accountable of what we eat has been proven by physicians and those at Weight Watchers.  If we track and are accountable of what we eat, there is no reason the weight can't come off.  The rest of the advice is just that and my thoughts and are no more proven than my own experience.  So here it goes.

Losing weight is not supposed to be a chore.  Enjoy the empowerment of being able to lose the weight and make better choices you have.  Trust me, enjoy the power and you'll look at pictures from the past and in a way you can't grasp now, what you have done is amazing and how fabulous you look.  And how much better you feel! It wasn't as hard as you imagined before walking through those doors or stepping on the scale! 

No need to worry about the future.  That's why there are small goals.  Okay, worry if you must, but know that worrying is not going to make the scale change or the chocolate chip cookie disappear. If you worry, then have a plan or a solution.  That's hard to do because we are all worriers.  We worry about what we can eat at a restaurant.  We worry what people are going to say.  Know that worrying is no more effective as trying to solve a difficult equation by sucking on a lollipop.  The real troubles are more apt to be if changes aren't made healthwise, there could be serious health issues that could blindside you.  

Do just one thing every day that frightens you.  Don't put up with people who are reckless with your feelings or heart.  Those people do not have space in your life.  People who think you're amazing, who support you, who encourage you, who pull you from the bench to do something you're scared of doing are who we need in our lives.  

Jealously has no place here.  I know with the questions again.  But jealously in a weight loss journey only hurts you.  Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.  The journey is not a race and it is long, and if you insist on it being a race, then it's only with yourself. 

Remember the compliments you receive.  Every compliment....from those that know you and strangers.  I got a text from my new best friend today and it reads in part (it made me cry): As you head out today, I want you to know how wonderful you are!  Your friends see a side of you that you sometimes forget is there.  That's why we're so adamant about telling you.  Along that same line, forget the insults.  

It's hard to do while losing weight, but enjoy your body.  Don't let it scare you or what others think of it scare you.  

For once, be proud of yourself for making the decision to do something to change you.  I know it's hard to take that first step and venture out on a journey you have no idea where you might end up.  I had no idea my journey would lead me to the point of losing 187 lbs.  And when you feel like turning around at mile 98, DON'T!  You can make a pit stop to catch your breath if need be, but whatever you do, don't turn around and start over.  

Be patient but thankful for the advice you receive.  But be careful of the advice that comes with a price.  

Above all, trust me on the tracking! 

Who do you think you are?

Do you remember scavenger hunts?  You're given a list of things to find at various places. Sometimes if you have to get an item from a person/place, the people at that place know about it.  Usually a scavenger hunt is like a race and you only have so much time to find specific things.

I have realized my weight loss journey is like a scavenger hunt.  Except there is no list of things for me to look for.  Instead, I am finding random things about myself along the way. It reminds me of a reality television show called Who do you think you are?  I watched a couple of episodes in which celebrities went on a family tree expedition you might call it.  They found out things about their family they never knew about.  I never realized what kind of journey this would be.  I knew I needed to lose weight and once I did, then everything would be right with the world again.  Why didn't I realize that once I lost the weight I would find an entirely new person?  How did I not know that I would find out certain things about me along the way?  

I didn't start the scavenger hunt or self-discovery expedition till after I had lost 100 lbs.  And at that point, I was finding small things about myself.  I realized that although I enjoyed going out, I didn't have to do it every day or every week.  I realized I was slowly becoming motivation and inspiration for others.  While on my way to the first goal, I found out I enjoy doing things outside and once I get over the initial anxiety of something (like kayaking, rock climbing or paddle board yoga), it really is fun!  I found out that I am really, really, really competitive with just about anything.  I suppose that competitiveness was covered up by the old me and wasn't able to show through.  

This self-discovery has been sometimes complicated and difficult.  You know when I lost 93 lbs in college, I was young and probably didn't know what self-discovery was.  There weren't any "Really?" moments that made me think or ask myself have I been this way all along.  I lost 93 lbs. and that was that.  I didn't seem to be concerned with fitting in to the right crowd.  I was too busy trying to make it through my second semester and dealing with my roommate who liked to party every night.  I was in my early 20s.  What is there to discover about yourself at that age?

But now, oh my goodness!  I am learning things about myself and sometimes it's good and not so good.  My self-discovery has been more mental....some physical but mostly mental.  I discovered what kind of people I want/need in my life.  Now that may sound odd and you might say what does that have to do with you losing 187 lbs?  I have learned over this year that there are different categories people fit into.  I want to surround myself with happy, encouraging, supportive friends. For a long time, I allowed toxic people into my life.  I am grateful to have a circle of friends that includes those from my Sunday Weight Watcher meeting, where I live, and from my school days.  Each one of these friends holds a special place in my life.

I discovered that I am highly competitive.  The fitbit challenges nearly drive me crazy.  And at my first 5K this past weekend, instead of power walking the easy 3.1 miles, I wanted to RUN it!  My friend/walking partner and I stood in line waiting for the race to start and I told her I wanted to try and run it.  I mean, how hard could it be?  I jumped up and down just thinking of running the 3.1 miles. Needless to say, I power walked most of it but did run about a quarter of it, including the finish line. The competitiveness made me want to run it with all the serious runners.

I discovered that I like being active.  I will sit on the couch but if I have my choice, I want to be out doing something.  I LOVE walking.....that's power walking.   Although I only kayaked once, I want to do it again.  Same with paddle board yoga.  I have become one of those people that does not like to sit still for very long.   A friend of mine suggested I start a list of all the physical activities I want to do and I'm working on that.

I have discovered that just by my actions and my personal journey, I have become such an inspiration for others.  I certainly didn't set out to become that.  People remark on it all the time and my "sole sister" tells me just about every day how amazing I am.  The fact I am inspiration and motivation to so many just blows my mind! I've never been "the success story" before.

I am learning to not compromise or settle in life, although it takes my friends to remind me that I deserve so much better than what I deal with.  I discovered that I am not what men want.  Just a short blip about this last encounter.  He hurt my feelings really bad and told me what I wanted to hear.  I told my friends and I have three of them ready to execute a hit if needed.  I am learning that whatever pheromone I have is a male repellent!  On that same subject line, I discovered sex is totally different......in an amazing way!  (Remember - nod and say okay) 

I have discovered it's about Carpe Diem....Seize the day!  Instead of hiding and afraid of being noticed, I am learning to be confident an embrace my strengths and weaknesses.  I am learning to not be scared of trying new things and take advantage of new experiences.

Who do you think you are?  Whether you have lost 10, 20, 40, 50 or 100 lbs, the weight loss journey changes you.  And you have to discover yourself all over again.  You may find things out about yourself that you don't like.  But chances are, you'll discover more things that you LOVE about yourself and have you saying, "Hmmm never knew that about myself."   My journey is just beginning, although I am just 12-13 pounds away from goal.  And yes, I think I will stop there.  I will continue to discover things about myself the rest of my life.  And it's nice to know I have a group of amazing friends to help me.  And those that will execute hits when needed!

no, No, NO. What is your No limit?

I feel like I am behind on my posts.  I had a ho hum week; tracking wasn't at the top of my list of things to do.  I was lazy with my eating but never stopped my walking.  And to my surprise I lost some weight; enough to have lost half of my original weight!  Half of me that will NEVER return. And when I saw that over 500 people liked my status, it gave me goose bumps.  And I appreciate and am grateful for each and every one of your sweet comments.  I can't believe I am just 13 pounds away from losing 200 lbs!  I once heard a quote from the movie Broadcast News where William Hurt asks Albert Brooks: "What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?" Albert Brooks responds with: "Keep it to yourself."  Well I'm not going to keep anything about this journey to myself!

 Although I am working on changing it, I have always been a "yes" person.  You know the kind; one who ALWAYS says yes.  Yes to baking 200 cupcakes, trying so hard not to lick the bowl of icing! Sure, I'll take on another boss......I already have 4 but sure, why not!  Sure, I'll do that!  Yes, no problem! I have a friend who was telling me about a situation.  She has a friend who was always saying she needs to go to the gym.  She needs to lose a few pounds, etc.  You get the story.  And this wonderful friend of mine did just about everything in the world of encouragement to help her friend. And yet the friend could not see the kindness and generosity her friend was giving her.  I've had similar situations.  How many times do we offer our generosity before we realize the people on the receiving end may not want it?  Or not ready to receive it?

It was 8:30 this last Friday night and I was marching around my apartment trying to get more steps in.  I would move, the other person would move.  I thought I COULD walk another 3-4 miles but what would that do.  Just put me further behind.  They were not stopping.  I finally told myself no, this is my limit.  I had already beat my all time record for steps.  So I reached my limit and called it a night. 

When is enough enough?  I'm not talking about work or the normal stress that's is ever abundant.  BWW (Before Weight Watchers), my No did not have a limit.  A 4th slice of pizza?  Sure, why not?  I did not say no to food. Are you kidding?  Food was my best friend not too long ago.  I said "no" to any outdoor activity or walks around the block.  I said "no" to eating healthy until....... I HAD to say "no."  I was told "no" to regular food and instead was on a liquid diet for 3 days.  When I asked if I was going to die that day in the ER, I was told "no, not today."  I actually thought that was it for me. I was to blame for the damage done.  Being told I was diabetic meant I would have to say no to sweets, sugars, and a host of other things.  Eighteen months ago I was told no, you can't go on like you were.

I know what my limits are now, well almost.  Some of the limits are non-negotiable because of my diabetes.  I enjoy eating grapes but they contain sugar.  I can't eat a handful or a bunch like most people.  My "no limit" is 17....yep I can have 17 grapes.  Although my sugars are well controlled, I still watch what I eat...duh I am on Weight Watchers after all!  When eating out, especially Mexican, I have to tell myself 'No!' after about 10 chips. Or bring my own.  With some trigger foods; pizza, chips, dum dums (LOL), and cookies, the "no" limit would be hard so I just don't eat them.  As far as activity, when is my "no" limit?  Some days it's when I reach my 10,000 step goal.  Some days it's when I am exhausted.  When I have days that get me down, and when I reach for a bag of Chex Mix or some other not so good snack, I shout "no."  On those days when I might tell myself negative thoughts (yes, that happens to me too), I stop it before I say anything.

I am learning what my no limit is.....in all aspects of this journey.  It's all part of the process.  How can one change if there are no "no" limits?  I believe I have done some growing up in the last year. Learning limits with going out and having fun, toxic people (those that are not supportive of my journey and the new me), and of course my new lifestyle.  I must give myself limits with these things otherwise the former me works her way back in.  We all have limits.  Have your "no" limits changed since you decided to make Weight Watchers part of your life?  Have you found you have grown since accepting Weight Watchers as a companion on your journey?

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."  Y'all have a great week!

Why? Because. Because Why? Because............

It seems like the month is flying by.  I was going to make it to some of my former high school football games (home games) and haven't gone to one yet! I'm hoping I can go to the three in October.  My best friend and I are walking in the Wicked Wine 5k Run in Waller in a couple of weeks.  eeeeek!  That's my squeal because I am sooo excited!  Not only because it's my first 5K (official....I know I do them every day) but because she has ordered us matching tanks to wear.  She won't tell me what they say! But I don't want to know....I want to be surprised.  I am going to buy some small crowns to wear......it is a fun run/walk and you are encouraged to dress up.   Then we talked about me doing a half marathon!  She said she knows I could totally do it.  So I am contemplating doing The Woodlands Half Marathon in March 2016.  

So, that post title could go on and on right?!  I used to say it to my dad all the time thinking he would give a different answer other than "because."  That was the topic in Sunday's meeting.  The "why" that had you walking through the doors at Weight Watchers.  The "why" of the choice to live a healthier lifestyle.  We first talked about the first why, then we talked about how our whys have changed.  

My original "why" was always the same.  I wanted to lose weight.  The reason behind it sometimes changed.  My "why" in 2009 was to lose some weight before my 20th high school reunion.  I remember finding out about the reunion 7 months before.  In my head I told myself I COULD lose 10 pounds a month resulting in 70 pounds.  I wanted to wear a cute outfit to my 20th high school reunion.  Like most, I waited till there were just 2 months left to do my best to lose the 70 lbs or more!  So my "why" changed to just 20 pounds.  I was successful.  I wore a cute outfit picked out by my sister.  The "why" then was more of how I wanted to look to people. At that time, twenty years had come and gone of seeing the people I went to school with.  I was still big but I had successfully done the "why," temporarily.

I remember walking in the door of Weight Watchers in 2013.  My "why" was I wanted  needed to lose weight and couldn't do it on m own any longer. I remember the lady who weighed me, she is still at the location I go to. I cried when I stepped on the scale and it stayed below 400. I was sure I had put on so much that it reached 400 lbs.  She was very calm and maybe shed a tear with me.  The "why" became a health issue and the fact I wanted to live.  My "why" in 2014 after spending 6 days hooked up to IVs in the hospital was I wanted to destroy diabetes!  I didn't want to be dependent on medication for the rest of my life.  The why back then was I must do something about my weight.

My "whys" now?  Oh goodness......changed so much.  The "whys" now include I want to look good and shop just about anywhere, participate in a (half) marathon, then a full marathon.  I want to continue living a healthy lifestyle.  Why do I want to never miss a Weigh Watcher meeting (especially with the most awesome leader)?  It reminds me of how far I've come on my journey and it keeps the fears at bay.  Why now?  I want to continue honoring my body by eating pure, clean, healthy foods.  I want to get far away from those 375 lbs. that brought me through the doors almost 2 years ago.  Why?  It'll never be over and I need all the tools I can get to continue a healthy lifestyle and maintaining my goal weight.

Why?  Because.  Because why?  I think our parents told us that to pacify us.  Either the answer was too involved for us to understand or they were trying to shield us.  So when we tell ourselves  or other people because, is it because we don't want to know the answer?  Has your "why" changed from the first time you walked in the doors at your Weight Watcher meeting?  Mine have and they change just about every day!  Why?  I cannot do the weight loss journey on my own.  I need awesome people to guide me and help me celebrate the good things.  Why? I need remind myself that I'll never go back to that day in November of 2013 when I stepped on the scale and it read 375.6 (to be exact).  Why? I want to continue doing things I never dreamed of doing.....kayaking, rock climbing, two-stepping, marathons.  Being able to walk into Macy's, Dillard's, Victoria's Secret and walk out with bags of cute things to wear.  Why now?  I want to live!  

What are you doing with your blank canvas? Phrase of the week: Sat Chit Ananda

Well, did you survive the week? No challenges for me this week. No walking at work to get in as many steps as I could.   I still walked over 11 miles most of the week.  I took a mental break as some of you suggested.  I'll be back next week so watch out!  However, as the week came to a close and Friday approached, I knew it would be a somber day.   I know that's all I have to say....you know.  We go about our lives the rest of the year, but on this day, it seems, as it should, the entire world stops for just a second.  A second to remember all the lives taken too soon.  A second to be grateful for those that go to battle for our freedom.  On this day, just for a few minutes, points do not matter, nor does tracking.  What matters to me is that there are people who fought, and still fight, for our freedom. My freedom to walk more than 10 miles a day.  My freedom to start fresh every day with a new beginning........something taken away from so many people.

So I went to yoga class on Thursday.  I am loving the Warrior poses.  Instead of my usual spot close to the door, I was front and center in front of the instructor.  If I had been told last year I would be doing yoga and liking it, I would have laughed in the person's face. Give the same response I did when I was told I was diabetic.

Sat Chit Ananda.  Okay, I'll give you a chance to run and google the phrase if you don't already know it. The yoga instructor says it translates into "Remember the joy."  With the transitions of the seasons, comes a fresh new start.  A blank canvas if you will.  The class focused on new beginnings and fresh starts.  I have loved this blank canvas I am using to create this wonderful new life for myself.

I don't know about you, but I some times let the days run together, thinking whatever happened the day before must overlap with the next day.  But really. when the lights are turned out and darkness falls, that's a chance to just forget about everything about that day............well almost everything, not the good, glittery, happy things.  Same with a weight loss journey.  First, try to remember the joy of being at a time in your life you were really happy or liked.  It may have been as a child, or when you were a smaller size.  When you started your weight loss journey, did you think of it as a fresh start?  A new beginning?

Until recently, it was hard for me to find joy, especially after I turned 30.  For so much after my early 30s was not joyful for me.  From the time I was 30 years old, I began dealing with very serious weight problem, although I didn't know it when I was 30.  I remember the joy of those early college years when I had lost 93 lbs. and was fitting in size 14s.......buying jeans from Express (not like the store is now!) and wearing stirrup pants!  I remember the joy of being on my own for the first time.  When the weight started creeping back on again, I wasn't remembering the joy any longer.  Instead of realizing the problem was me, I would blame it on the clothes in the stores getting smaller, or the media creating these unbelievably impossible images to obtain.

When I weighed 375 lbs (which wasn't that long ago),  the joy I remembered was how good the pizza tasted or that I didn't have to leave the house on weekends so no one would see me.  But is that joy?  Is that the joy we are supposed to remember?  Absolutely not!  So, my fresh start began March 18, 2014 in the ER.  I chose to make the most of this new beginning.

I have absolutely loved this fresh start.  As my new best friend told me, I am living (and loving) this new life of mine.  I am doing things that, as my friends will tell me, I should be doing in my 40s. And apparently it has me climbing rocks, rocking a kayak, and walking almost a half marathon most days.  With tremendous help from Weight Watchers and everyone who I share the journey with, this fresh start is a healthier, more aware fresh start.  It reminds me sat chit ananda......Remember the joy.  Now, when I remember the joy, I think of when I started feeling better.  I remember when I did something for the first time I hadn't done in years!  I remember the joy in reaching my first big goal, then deciding to go further.

Sat Chit Ananda.  Remember the joy.  Take time for a fresh start.  Was this weight loss journey a fresh start for you?  What does your blank canvas look like?  This is your chance to create something beautiful on this journey............to make something fantastical with a blank canvas.  Wonderful thing is that each day is a chance to start fresh.  So you ate too much on Monday......start fresh on Tuesday with a new beginning.  Remember the joy of a specific time in your life.  I am grateful every day for this fresh start.

Our lives are blank canvases.  A weight loss journey is a brush stroke.  I am having the time of my life creating my masterpiece.  Sure, I've changed colors and even what I want to be on the canvas, but that's the beauty.  Every day is a fresh start, a blank canvas.  Every day Weight Watchers gives you a brand new day of points.  Fresh start.  Your tracker is wiped clean every day.  Tomorrow is a new day, new beginning.  Put this week, tonight behind you.  Tomorrow is a new day......wake up with the sun and declare it a fresh start!!

Who is your Inner Self (we all have them)? They help us with transitions!

Was last week hard for you? It was for me! Whew! At the beginning, I looked forward to having Labor Day off and then as the week progressed I was just happy when bedtime came so I could collapse.  I was very hard on myself this week.  Plus, some party food made an appearance.  I did well at breakfast and at lunch, but it was the night life that had the party food.  What else is trending? Let's see.....not to toot my horn again, but I won the work week challenge.  And my body was not happy with me.  I really really overdid it.  I switched out the LARGE fitbit wristband for the small wristband.  The manager of my apartment commented on how happy I looked and at peace with myself.  And I was actually funny.  Guess it's all that decluttering I've done in my head.....looking forward to filling that space with glittery things.

Oh!  The biggest thing trending......a couple of weeks ago my wonderful leader encouraged me to send in my success story to Weight Watchers.  I filled out a form and submitted it along with my story.  This past week Weight Watchers emailed me asking for a before and current picture.  Not sure what that means...if I'm one step closer to being chosen.  And I'm not sure what it means if I'm chosen but it's exciting.

So I've talked about my inner goddess.....Persephone.  She's even guest written a post.  Persephone is there to help me transition into this new me that's emerging as a result of my journey.  She helps me realize I can do anything and do it with conviction.  And while she remained somewhat quiet in the beginning, she is now out in full force.  Lately she has been Persephone the Drill Sergeant!  Every time I enter a fitbit challenge she jumps up and down because she knows she gets to work the heck out of me!  I was talking to my walking partner - and wonderful new friend - about Persephone and how last week I wanted to stuff her back in the little box she emerged from.  She just laughed and said sorry, I don't think she'll fit in the box anymore.  Before I know it, Persephone will have me ready for world domination!

Her favorite color may be pink, but she is fierce.  She is here to stay and right now her main job, along with maintaining my walking routine of 10+ mi a day, is helping me with this transition. Speaking of walking, this morning in the meeting, I was talking to a fellow member about how mouths drop when I say how much I walk.  And how to me it's normal and routine, but this member said, "But it's not normal!"  This is a huge transition for me.  Six months ago, let alone a year ago, if someone had told me I would lose 185.6 lbs. and my journey would be to lose 200, I would laugh in their face.  My inner goddess is there to reassure me this is possible and while there are days I want to stuff her back in the box, it's all part of the journey.  She makes sure I do not turn back at mile 98 and start all over.  Persephone does not always like the decisions I make, but she supports them just the same.

We are all going through transitions.....to be better people.  Healthier, stronger, and happier people.  Have you noticed the transitions around recently?  The air is a little cooler signaling fall is on its way.  Summer has ended and the year is continuing on its path to its conclusion.  Believe it or not, those on a weight loss journey are always transitioning.  And we have those inner selves to help us. They help us make healthier choices and help us celebrate when we do.  They make us go on that walk when we really just want to stay home and sit on the couch.  Who is your inner self?  Is she like Persephone?  Youthful, innocent, yet as on the journey, can begin to consciously decide for herself.  Also a reminder of a indication of fall....reminder of the growth and hope a transition brings. How do they help you with your transition?

The story of "I'd love to, but......."

Good morning!  I know, two posts in one week!  Hope the week has started off fantastic for most of you.  Some of you know what my profession is.  If you do not, I am a legal assistant.  I have worked in the legal field for the last 15-18 years.  I became interested in the legal field when I worked for a state district judge at our local courthouse.  It was a very interesting five years.  I learned so much. The judge I worked for is a very nice man, although intimidating at times.  He used to play for several pro football teams and stands at least 6'2"!  Anyway, shortly after I started working for him, he told me a story about people being chosen for jury duty.  The potential jurors were required to call our office with any issues serving.  He told me a story between "I'd love to.... and But........"  A potential juror calls and says, "I'd love to come serve on the jury, but....."  And while for the most part, their reason for but was not a valid one, there were some valid ones mixed in.  

When I thought of that story, I thought it would make a good blog.  How many times have you said, "I'd love to, but......?"  Maybe it was spoken with the thought of a weight loss journey.  "I'd love to start Weight Watchers (or maybe some other diet), but......" and you can fill in the excuse.  Has it been uttered when starting a new activity?  "I'd love to start yoga (boxing, running, etc.), but......" But what?  Not sure you can do yoga?  I wasn't sure, but I went to a class anyway and realized I like it! I know the words came out of my mouth when I thought about doing kayaking or stand up paddle board yoga.  Thankfully my friends crushed the phrase and encouraged me to do those new activities.

Changes are abundant and inevitable on any kind of journey, but especially a weight loss journey. Think about it.  The mind changes, as well as the body, and things that were never thought of before are being considered.  I may not have spoken those words a lot, but I have thought of them plenty of times. I have said them to myself when I go shopping and look at clothes to try on.   Maybe friends have offered an invitation to go out to eat.  I'd love to go, but...........  But what?  Food?  Points? What?  Go for the fellowship and company of those friends.  Go because of the invite.  We know this.......if there is a concern the presence of trigger foods, eat something before.  I still go to Happy Hour, once in a while, but choose not to drink and sometimes not eat any of the tempting apps.  

The same goes for what we eat.  Of course with this, I am a double standard.  I can preach about it, write about it, but I don't follow the advice.  I'd love to have a piece of cake, but..... Now in this situation, yes, the phrase might be warranted.  But....too many points.  But......I'd rather have something else.  As we have learned, you can have a piece of cake, as long as it is accounted for.  So, I'd love to have a piece of cake, but I'll have half a slice.  I'd love to have a piece of cake, but I'll skip the second slice of pizza.  

Instead of the phrase I'd love to, but...... maybe it needs to be updated, modified, etc.  I'd love to try yoga, where is there class I can take.  I'd love to start losing weight, where is a Weight Watcher meeting close to me.  I'd love to go out to dinner and catch up with what's been going on (or let me look at the menu online so I can plan).  

The next time those words are about to be spoken, think about it.  Just like can't needs to be taken out of our vocabulary, so does I'd love to, but......  That's just an excuse waiting to happen!