Who do you think you are?

Do you remember scavenger hunts?  You're given a list of things to find at various places. Sometimes if you have to get an item from a person/place, the people at that place know about it.  Usually a scavenger hunt is like a race and you only have so much time to find specific things.

I have realized my weight loss journey is like a scavenger hunt.  Except there is no list of things for me to look for.  Instead, I am finding random things about myself along the way. It reminds me of a reality television show called Who do you think you are?  I watched a couple of episodes in which celebrities went on a family tree expedition you might call it.  They found out things about their family they never knew about.  I never realized what kind of journey this would be.  I knew I needed to lose weight and once I did, then everything would be right with the world again.  Why didn't I realize that once I lost the weight I would find an entirely new person?  How did I not know that I would find out certain things about me along the way?  

I didn't start the scavenger hunt or self-discovery expedition till after I had lost 100 lbs.  And at that point, I was finding small things about myself.  I realized that although I enjoyed going out, I didn't have to do it every day or every week.  I realized I was slowly becoming motivation and inspiration for others.  While on my way to the first goal, I found out I enjoy doing things outside and once I get over the initial anxiety of something (like kayaking, rock climbing or paddle board yoga), it really is fun!  I found out that I am really, really, really competitive with just about anything.  I suppose that competitiveness was covered up by the old me and wasn't able to show through.  

This self-discovery has been sometimes complicated and difficult.  You know when I lost 93 lbs in college, I was young and probably didn't know what self-discovery was.  There weren't any "Really?" moments that made me think or ask myself have I been this way all along.  I lost 93 lbs. and that was that.  I didn't seem to be concerned with fitting in to the right crowd.  I was too busy trying to make it through my second semester and dealing with my roommate who liked to party every night.  I was in my early 20s.  What is there to discover about yourself at that age?

But now, oh my goodness!  I am learning things about myself and sometimes it's good and not so good.  My self-discovery has been more mental....some physical but mostly mental.  I discovered what kind of people I want/need in my life.  Now that may sound odd and you might say what does that have to do with you losing 187 lbs?  I have learned over this year that there are different categories people fit into.  I want to surround myself with happy, encouraging, supportive friends. For a long time, I allowed toxic people into my life.  I am grateful to have a circle of friends that includes those from my Sunday Weight Watcher meeting, where I live, and from my school days.  Each one of these friends holds a special place in my life.

I discovered that I am highly competitive.  The fitbit challenges nearly drive me crazy.  And at my first 5K this past weekend, instead of power walking the easy 3.1 miles, I wanted to RUN it!  My friend/walking partner and I stood in line waiting for the race to start and I told her I wanted to try and run it.  I mean, how hard could it be?  I jumped up and down just thinking of running the 3.1 miles. Needless to say, I power walked most of it but did run about a quarter of it, including the finish line. The competitiveness made me want to run it with all the serious runners.

I discovered that I like being active.  I will sit on the couch but if I have my choice, I want to be out doing something.  I LOVE walking.....that's power walking.   Although I only kayaked once, I want to do it again.  Same with paddle board yoga.  I have become one of those people that does not like to sit still for very long.   A friend of mine suggested I start a list of all the physical activities I want to do and I'm working on that.

I have discovered that just by my actions and my personal journey, I have become such an inspiration for others.  I certainly didn't set out to become that.  People remark on it all the time and my "sole sister" tells me just about every day how amazing I am.  The fact I am inspiration and motivation to so many just blows my mind! I've never been "the success story" before.

I am learning to not compromise or settle in life, although it takes my friends to remind me that I deserve so much better than what I deal with.  I discovered that I am not what men want.  Just a short blip about this last encounter.  He hurt my feelings really bad and told me what I wanted to hear.  I told my friends and I have three of them ready to execute a hit if needed.  I am learning that whatever pheromone I have is a male repellent!  On that same subject line, I discovered sex is totally different......in an amazing way!  (Remember - nod and say okay) 

I have discovered it's about Carpe Diem....Seize the day!  Instead of hiding and afraid of being noticed, I am learning to be confident an embrace my strengths and weaknesses.  I am learning to not be scared of trying new things and take advantage of new experiences.

Who do you think you are?  Whether you have lost 10, 20, 40, 50 or 100 lbs, the weight loss journey changes you.  And you have to discover yourself all over again.  You may find things out about yourself that you don't like.  But chances are, you'll discover more things that you LOVE about yourself and have you saying, "Hmmm never knew that about myself."   My journey is just beginning, although I am just 12-13 pounds away from goal.  And yes, I think I will stop there.  I will continue to discover things about myself the rest of my life.  And it's nice to know I have a group of amazing friends to help me.  And those that will execute hits when needed!